Frontier Former Editor

August 23, 2008

I got my text from Obama, dahling!

 

Why didn’t he just tie piano wire around his scrotum and hang a cinderblock from it? Same effect.

Advertisements

July 13, 2008

Translation: Things are pretty damned bad

There is a point, in financial markets, when things stop being psychological in origination and become real as hell. The housing market has been bad enough in recent months, but it’s a fairly good indicator that reality is in the parking lot when federal officials scramble to keep federally-backed paper from becoming just as worthless as the commercially-owned paper before it.

(from the Department of the Treasury website)

July 11, 2008
HP-1078

Statement by Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr. on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac

Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr. made the following comment today on news stories about “contingency planning” at Treasury:

Washington, DC–

 

“Today our primary focus is supporting Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac in their current form as they carry out their important mission.

“We appreciate Congress’ important efforts to complete legislation that will help promote confidence in these companies. We are maintaining a dialogue with regulators and with the companies. OFHEO will continue to work with the companies as they take the steps necessary to allow them to continue to perform their important public mission.”

 

and . . .

Paulson Statement on Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae: Full Text (from Bloomberg)

July 13 (Bloomberg) — Following is the text of a statement issued today by Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson:

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac play a central role in our housing finance system and must continue to do so in their current form as shareholder-owned companies. Their support for the housing market is particularly important as we work through the current housing correction.

GSE (government sponsored entity – ed.) debt is held by financial institutions around the world. Its continued strength is important to maintaining confidence and stability in our financial system and our financial markets. Therefore we must take steps to address the current situation as we move to a stronger regulatory structure. In recent days, I have consulted with the Federal Reserve, OFHEO, the SEC, Congressional leaders of both parties and with the two companies to develop a three-part plan for immediate action. The President has asked me to work with Congress to act on this plan immediately.

First, as a liquidity backstop, the plan includes a temporary increase in the line of credit the GSEs have with Treasury. Treasury would determine the terms and conditions for accessing the line of credit and the amount to be drawn.

Second, to ensure the GSEs have access to sufficient capital to continue to serve their mission, the plan includes temporary authority for Treasury to purchase equity in either of the two GSEs if needed.

Use of either the line of credit or the equity investment would carry terms and conditions necessary to protect the taxpayer. Third, to protect the financial system from systemic risk going forward, the plan strengthens the GSE regulatory reform legislation currently moving through Congress by giving the Federal Reserve a consultative role in the new GSE regulator’s process for setting capital requirements and other prudential standards.

I look forward to working closely with the Congressional leaders to enact this legislation as soon as possible, as one complete package.

And add to that the run and panic on Indy Mac late last week:

LOS ANGELES (AP) — IndyMac Bank’s assets were seized by federal regulators on Friday after the mortgage lender succumbed to the pressures of tighter credit, tumbling home prices and rising foreclosures.

The bank is the largest regulated thrift to fail and the second largest financial institution to close in U.S. history, regulators said.

The Office of Thrift Supervision said it transferred IndyMac’s operations to the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation because it did not think the lender could meet its depositors’ demands.

IndyMac customers with funds in the bank were limited to taking out money via automated teller machines over the weekend, debit card transactions or checks, regulators said.

Other bank services, such as online banking and phone banking were scheduled to be made available on Monday.

“This institution failed today due to a liquidity crisis,” OTS Director John Reich said.

While Shrub and his gang of idiots certainly have their share of the blame in this fiasco, they’re just part of a longer-term fiscal and financial idiocy amongst the government and citizenry of this fair land.

If anyone believes that the Democratic Party will be able to carry on with classic post-1960 American liberal policy and philosophy if Obama wins in November 2008, then you may want to go back and read some applied economics.

On the other hand, if anyone believes that a Republican-controlled 1600 Pennsylvania Ave can carry on with classic post-1979 American conservative thought and philosophy, then you might want to read up on the French Revolution, the Weimar Republic and 1929-1933 in the U.S. and Germany.

Brother can you spare a million Deutschmarks and a wheelbarrow?

May 22, 2008

Oy veh!

Filed under: humor — Tags: , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 8:47 am

Nothing like mixing Japanese live-action children’s shows with the Talmud, I always say . . . .

 

Like I should run clips from ‘Holocaust? Messhugginah!

 

 

May 18, 2008

I never thought I’d say I’d wish I’d been in Texas, but . . .

Filed under: humor, semi humor, Texas — Tags: , , , , , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 9:36 am

there was something going on that actually piqued my interest:

The 31st Annual O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships occur Saturday in Austin, Texas

While the sound link was a little too droll and not quite as groan-inducing as I’d hoped, it did give me hope that some folks were indeed pushing Austin city’s limits.

And in belated celebration, here’s one of my longtime personal favorites:

She fell in love with him because of his love of 18th century English poetry. He always had the perfect verse or passage to heighten their romantic feelings. Finally they wed.

But even as the rose loses its blush, she began to tire of his fascination with and incessant quoting of the classics. One day she could contain herself no more and demanded that he stop.

He looked at her for a moment and then said . . . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“If you can’t stand the Keats, get out of the hitchin’.”

May 11, 2008

I think it was the scene where von Stauffenberg comes sliding in wearing socks, skivvies and an eyepatch that blew it . . .

or maybe it was the scene where Cruise screams into the phone, “Show me the Reichsmarks!”

Then again, maybe it was the clip where he’s walking along with Rommel and yells, “I feel the need, the need for MACH SCHNELL, SCHNELL!”

“The fortunes of Hollywood actor Tom Cruise have suffered a blow with the news that his next big film has been postponed until 2009.

The release of Valkyrie, which tells the story of the 1944 assassination plot against Hitler, was first postponed from this summer to the autumn and is now not expected to appear until next year.”

More at TimesOnline

I think what would have really helped the concept would been having Harrison Ford running from Tommy Lee Jones as a tough Reichsmarschall while tracking Cruise down . . .  ‘The Reichsfugitive’ – or at least Paul Newman beating him in a game of pool in ‘The Color of Reichsmarks’

Bet Tommy will be jumping on couches a lot more this summer.

May 8, 2008

A great way to combine funeral service and home economics programs at vocational schools!

Filed under: biotech, cooking, humor — Tags: , , , , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:48 pm

Now, here’s a way to use those old pressure cookers and leftover Drano between canning seasons!

New Morgue Science: Dissolving Bodies With

Lye

Process Includes Heat, Pressure in Steel Containers

 

 

CONCORD, N.H. — Since they first walked the planet, humans have either buried or burned their dead. Now a new option is generating interest — dissolving bodies in lye and flushing the brownish, syrupy residue down the drain. The process is called alkaline hydrolysis and was developed in this country 16 years ago to get rid of animal carcasses. It uses lye, 300-degree heat and 60 pounds of pressure per square inch to destroy bodies in big stainless-steel cylinders that are similar to pressure cookers. 

No funeral homes in the U.S. — or anywhere else in the world, as far as the equipment manufacturer knows — offer it. In fact, only two U.S. medical centers use it on human bodies, and only on cadavers donated for research. 

But because of its environmental advantages, some in the funeral industry say it could someday rival burial and cremation. ” It’s not often that a truly game-changing technology comes along in the funeral service,” the newsletter Funeral Service Insider said in September. But “we might have gotten a hold of one.”

more here

Frankly, any technology that keeps a funeral home from selling you a septic tank without holes to preserve your corpse and turning usable land into a minefield of concrete and metal boxes is a game changing technology.

Knowing the funeral industry lobby, though, there’ll probably be laws in most states requiring families to purchase Elvis souvenir decanters to house their new liquid assets.

On the bright side, this stuff could be marketed as diet pancake syrup or drambuie. I’ve even got a label: Soylent Brown.

April 18, 2008

Wet beaver mass

Filed under: beaver, humor — Tags: , , , , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:58 pm

Even the Pope has to attract some beaver. Leave it to the fair and balanced network to give the masses their fill of wet beaver:

Pope Security Police Bag Beaver in East River
Animal Was ‘Struggling’ to Swim Near United Nations

 

“They did not say if they considered the animal to be a security risk.

But “it has pretty big claws,” said Lt. John Harkins of the NYPD SCUBA Unit.”

It’s oddly reminiscent of when Jimmy Carter was chased by some cottontail

Killer rabbit

(courtesy of Jimmy Carter Library via narsil.org )

Nothing like animal eroticism and public figures, I always say. Now if they could only catch Dubya hammering a sheep . . .

April 9, 2008

And now that you ask, yes, Thunderbird has been a part of growing up . . . .

Filed under: blaxploitation, humor, whiteploitation — Tags: , , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 3:50 am

You don’t get this kind of culture in a convenience store . . . . well, maybe some you do.

I always thought Boone’s Farm and Annie Green Springs were for wusses . . . .

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.