Frontier Former Editor

April 29, 2006

Reasons not to take up golfing at age 43

Filed under: dumbasses, lost weekend, sports, whiteploitation — Frontier Former Editor @ 7:12 pm

1) You’re 43 – you’re gonna buy a LOT of Tylenol afterward
2) Your 14 year-old son – who’s been playing at least one year on the high school golf team – is gonna wax you, bad.
3) Course rules don’t allow you a free shot at the cart-driving golfer who decides to pull out on the fairway as you’re on your second shot so he/she can shoot his/her ball back onto the fairway two holes back.
4) That palm-frond pattern Hawaiian shirt looked cool two years ago . . .
5) Remember, renting a hand cart for your golf bag was only $1, you blithering idiot!
6) Oops, I almost hit the course’s mole-hunting dog . . .
7) Did I mention Tylenol?
8) What happened? I was shooting 180-200 yards at the driving range . . .
9) How did my son skip a ball across a 120-foot water hazard onto dry land?
10) Oh yeah . . . Tylenol!

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