Now here’s a quote you don’t often associate with self-induced death . . . .

From The National Enquirer:

“David Hans Schmidt, a celebrity story and photo broker who pled guilty in an extortion scandal involving Tom Cruise, has committed suicide, The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has learned.

The 47-year-old Schmidt was found in a shower stall at a North 21st street condominium in Phoenix, AZ.

“He hung himself, and the shower stall was so small, he had to squat to get the job done,” a source familiar with the situation said.”

Are they sure it wasn’t just a confused bystander watching a plumber?

If I were the Bundeswehr (besides having to eat for several hundred thousand . . . )

I’d tell Tom Cruise, “Sure, you can film at our facilities, as long as you do some real method acting . . . like losing the arm and the eye and a few fingers . . . for real.”

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/va/20070625/118279999700.html