Frontier Former Editor

December 21, 2008

Assume the position, and not the Senate seat . . .

Bend over, Ill drive - courtesy of Chicago Tribune

Bend over, I'll drive - courtesy of Chicago Tribune

In a touching story bound to replace ‘A Christmas Story’ in our collective heart, some guy in Chicago painted a portrait of Rod Blagojevic assuming the position before checking into a federal correctional institute.

The only shame is that he’s not doing one of Cheney checking into confinement at the Hague.

From the Chicago Tribune (talk about a bunch of guys in the newsroom saying ‘Bend over, Governor!’):

“I was stunned when I found out what that criminal complaint [outlined],” Elliott said as he examined the painting in his Old Town studio. “Hopefully, someone is going to find this irreverent.”

Irreverent hardly begins to describe it. The scene imagines Blagojevich handcuffed and wearing an orange jumpsuit pulled down to his knees.

Among the onlookers is a guard, with a look of grim determination, pulling on a rubber glove.

The painting, which is taking Elliott a little over a week to finish, is titled: “The Cavity Search.”

Bet the artist is channeling the late Mike Royko.

September 23, 2008

Well, it does explain why I don’t get many dinner invitations . . .

Hard to believe its been almost 40 years . . .

Hard to believe it's been almost 40 years . . .

When I think of the Wall Street Journal and the word ‘health,’ I usually think of reports of stockbrokers leaping to their deaths after the closing bell, but the good folks at Rupert Murdoch’s new bitch seem to have something of moderate interest here.

“Certain regional stereotypes have long since become cliches: The stressed-out New Yorker. The laid-back Californian.

“But the conscientious Floridian? The neurotic Kentuckian?

“You bet — at least, according to new research on the geography of personality. Based on more than 600,000 questionnaires and published in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science, the study maps regional clusters of personality traits, then overlays state-by-state data on crime, health and economic development in search of correlations.”

According to this little piece of enterprise reporting, the lower 48, the upper 1 and the offshore 1 were rated on a scale of 1-50 (1= most, 50 = least) on five basic qualities. The Old Dominion’s rating on those qualities?

  • Extraversion: 45
  • Agreeableness: 44
  • Conscientiousness: 39
  • Neuroticism: 21
  • Openess: 11

So, if the slogan is true that Virginia is for lovers, then it’s for that sullen, uptight, careless, annoying, in-your-face girlfriend or that Robert DeNiro ‘Taxi Driver’-like boyfriend. The first four categories, however,  do go some length to explain some of our more notorious recent products, like George Allen and James Gilmore.

But, if you like living in a state where every spinster has the potential to have a dead boyfriend in their bed and a large bill for quicklime, then Mississippi may be your kind of place:

“Or take a cue from Ted Ownby, who studies Southern culture at the University of Mississippi. His state came up highly neurotic — and he suspects his neighbors would be proud.

“”Here in the home of William Faulkner,” Mr. Ownby said, “we take intense, almost perverse neuroticism as a sign of emotional depth.””

Yep, and all Virginia did besides mother a few presidents was to run Stephen Austin and Sam Houston out of the Commonwealth and to speculate on some real estate just north of the Rio Grande . . .

July 13, 2008

And since Sunday papers across the country are getting thinner and thinner . . .

Azahar has kindly provided this piece of educational wonderment

 

How Many Countries Can You Name in 5 Minutes?

There are 195 countries in the world. You’ve got 5 minutes to name as many as you can. Go!

 

I pulled a 61 because of fat-fingered typing.

Think of it as one of those world map puzzles you used to see in grammar school classrooms. Yeah, right . . . but it is pretty damned fun!

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