Frontier Former Editor

March 6, 2009

Oh Brother, Where Art thou Caste?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7923190.stm

I’ve already been given inspiration to write – if I ever got into the screenwriting biz – a Bollywood adaptation of the Coen Brothers’ and Homer’s big screen epic, “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?”

From the BBC  (be sure to whistle the first couple of bars of “Liliburlero” first . . .)

“India’s governing Congress party has acquired the rights to Jai Ho – the Oscar-winning song from the movie Slumdog Millionaire.

Party officials say the song will be used as part of the election campaign to publicise Congress achievements.

The general election in India will take place between 16 April and 13 May. Counting is due on 16 May.

British director Danny Boyle’s Slumdog, based in the slums of the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay), won eight Oscars.

‘Performed well’

Bollywood composer AR Rahman and lyricist Gulzar won the Best Song Oscar for Jai Ho, literally meaning victory.

With its catchy tune and uplifting lyrics, Jai Ho has become immensely popular with the public in India.

Congress Party spokesman Manish Tiwari told the BBC the achievements of the government deserved to be saluted and the song best explained that.

“Our party has performed well, be it in governance or in its pro-poor policies,” Mr Tiwari said.

But a senior leader of the main opposition Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), Prakash Javdekar, told Reuters news agency: “This song will ensure their defeat because it will remind every Indian that millions of people still have to stay in slums because of faulty Congress policies.” “

One of the key scenes already came to me in a flash of twisted inspiration, as Pappy O’Nehru (played with suitably restrained, yet ebullient populism by Ben Kingsley) arrives at the Congress Party rally to find that the Soggy Bengal Boys are perfoming ‘Jai Ho’ to a standing, enthusiastically screaming crowd.  

A homespun-and-turban -wearing George Clooney (he’ll probably jump into this with financing – the sacrifices we have to make for art) leans over to his sweetheart at the dignitaries table and stretches his fake beard, in a burst of comic relief designed to set the stage for an extended musical number leading into the arrival of the closet Kashmir separatist candidate (John Rhys Davies or Alfred Molina – I’m still tossing that stereotype around). The separatist unintentionally exposes his true colors and is dragged away by Congress loyalists.

O’Nehru then climbs on stage and teases his departed rival for being less than non-violent, to the laughter and applause of the audience. He then brings Clooney and the Soggy Bengal Boys to hand and exacts a public promise that they have renounced their ways.

“You will support Congress in the April elections, won’t you?” O’Nehru  asks Clooney in a stern yet fatherly way, to which Clooney ferently asserts his agreement.

O’Nehru and the Soggy Bengal Boys then line up for a pull-out-all-the-stops rendition of  “Jai Ho.”

I’m still trying to figure out how to do the lynching scene, although the Ganges at flood stage should be easy enough.

January 1, 2009

The Spirit is weak . . .

Filed under: art or something like it, artistic license, cinema, comics, culture, movies — Tags: , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 2:53 pm

spirit_harvey11

I enjoy a good comic book movie as much as the next American male. That said, I have never watched a comic book movie that talks so much and says so little.

‘Sin City’-style cinematography, several fight scenes, a naked Eva Mendes , and Samuel L. Jackson couldn’t even save it.

I damn near spent ny New Year’s Eve passed out in a theater, and I wasn’t even drunk.

‘Howard the Duck’ was better than this.

December 29, 2008

Object lesson for 2009

Rastenburg

Rastenburg

 

Never, ever, send a one-armed one-eyed man or Tom Cruise to do something that needs to be done right.

October 9, 2008

Glossary of movie terms

Filed under: art, cinema, culture, Hollywood uber Alles, humor, Jack Valenti is dead, movies, observations — Tags: , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:46 pm

I watched a movie Thursday. Without going into plot details (actually irrelevant for the purposes of this post), I would like to place three of the descriptive terms applied to this movie by the cable movie details subscreen:

‘Stylish’ – The director seems inspired by music videos, and not very good ones.

‘Smart’ – The director probably attended a Hitchcock film festival in college and now thinks; ‘Hey, I’ll bet no one uses odd camera angles and visual narrative like that anymore, so I’ll use it and look original!’

‘Taut’ – The film editor and producer cut 40 minutes of film to get rid of the self-indulgent and poorly executed Hitchcockian scenes, including the one where the director is walking a poodle down a crowded sidewalk.

August 2, 2008

I’m sorry, but . . .

Filed under: humor, movies, old times — Tags: , , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 8:05 am

while John Hughes should go straight to hell for releasing Macaulay Culkin on an unsuspecting world,  this scene from ‘Sixteen Candles’ still cracks me up (it was on TV yesterday, thus the flashback). Even if Hughes, by casting a Japanese actor as a Chinese exchange student and using some pretty bad pidgin English dialogue, showed that he thinks all Asians look alike.

‘The Breakfast Club” was still pretentious crap, though . . .

July 24, 2008

Is it just me or . . .

Filed under: cinema, humor, movies — Tags: , , , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 9:16 pm

does anyone else catch the irony that Heath Ledger put the moves on both of the Gyllenhal siblings in the movies?

July 13, 2008

But while the economy’s tanking . . .

Filed under: cool stuff, fun stuff, humor, Mel Brooks, movies, music, old times — Tags: , , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 7:55 pm

at least we have Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft (she’s even hotter here than in ‘The Graduate’).

May 11, 2008

I think it was the scene where von Stauffenberg comes sliding in wearing socks, skivvies and an eyepatch that blew it . . .

or maybe it was the scene where Cruise screams into the phone, “Show me the Reichsmarks!”

Then again, maybe it was the clip where he’s walking along with Rommel and yells, “I feel the need, the need for MACH SCHNELL, SCHNELL!”

“The fortunes of Hollywood actor Tom Cruise have suffered a blow with the news that his next big film has been postponed until 2009.

The release of Valkyrie, which tells the story of the 1944 assassination plot against Hitler, was first postponed from this summer to the autumn and is now not expected to appear until next year.”

More at TimesOnline

I think what would have really helped the concept would been having Harrison Ford running from Tommy Lee Jones as a tough Reichsmarschall while tracking Cruise down . . .  ‘The Reichsfugitive’ – or at least Paul Newman beating him in a game of pool in ‘The Color of Reichsmarks’

Bet Tommy will be jumping on couches a lot more this summer.

February 5, 2008

The banality of evil

This is pretty much how I’ve imagined conversations in the Oval Office, the Justice department and the Naval Observatory the last seven and a half years

October 24, 2007

‘Vampires, Guns and Money’

Filed under: American Bar Association, attorneys, bloodsuckers, cinema, horror, lawyers, movies, vampire castles, vampires — Frontier Former Editor @ 3:06 pm

I gotta give Miss Cellania her props – something I’ve failed to do in recent months.

Miss C has a link to a great list of the top vampire movies of all time over on her page, and I found myself going ‘yeah, uh-huh, right, good one, yep . . .’ reading down it. Go over and see how many you’ve seen.

Meanwhile, here’s some links to real-life vampire castles:

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