Frontier Former Editor

May 21, 2011

Not rapture, but sinister

Filed under: Christianity, God, logic, lost weekend, My God, it's full of stars, Walmart — Frontier Former Editor @ 8:26 pm

While my recent presentation on the now-disproven May 21 rapture was meant purely as deadpan humor, I decided to visit a Wal-Mart at the appointed hour of rapture to take a few photos to prove to our more superstitious fellow men and women that they suffered merely from rectal-cranial inversion.

As expected, I saw no mass flashes and ascending human forms at 6 p.m. eastern U.S. time. But being the rationalist that I am (hold the snickers), I still tested the delusional claims of Harold Camper and found something sinister and well cloaked.

Clothing racks were well stocked – far more stocked than on any other day I’ve been in a Wal-Mart. I began covertly photographing  the scene:

Well stocked shelves at racks in Wal-Mart? Verrry suspicious ...

Well stocked shelves at racks in Wal-Mart? Verrry suspicious ...

As I tried to remain unobtrusive (yeah, keep on laughing …), I saw other hints that, in fact, people had mysteriously disappeared in recent moments.

Two belts just lying in the floor? Hmmmmmm ...

Two belts just lying in the floor? Hmmmmmm ...

My word! Could have an entire family just tossed their clothes in the basket and gone to meet their maker?

My word! Could have an entire family just tossed their clothes in the basket and gone to meet their maker?

And then I saw the dressing rooms. I stood back, pretending to compare bargains on tube socks while noticing the parade of shoppers entering the dressing stalls. As each shopper entered, they never exited. Yet more people filed into the rooms as the attendant smiled. Finally, I was able to get the photograph I feared . . .

I saw the light, and I am afraid ...

I saw the light, and I am afraid ...

Note the vertical shafts on light from the stalls.  I’m sure I’ve found the secret to Wal-Mart’s ‘everyday low prices.’

Be afraid. Very afraid.

September 11, 2008

Seven years after . . .

Filed under: 2001, Afghanistan, colonialism, doomed to repeat, God, history, old times, politics, scumbags, Sept. 11, support our troops — Tags: , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 9:04 am

The television and radio are full of remembrances today. You’ll probably see no shortage of Sept. 11-themed photos on the web today, and public figures will make no end of references to what happened seven years ago.

I, like so many others, mourn the dead. But I also mourn that a nation has such a short-term memory and an unwillingness to understand more than the sight of a burning building.

Yes, we should well have invaded Afghanistan. We had a moral obligation to go in there and clean the place out like the rat-infested barn that it was.

After all, we created the rats. We funded and armed the groups that became the Taliban and al Qaida because we wanted to give the then Soviet Union the same kind of headaches and heartburn that we suffered in Vietnam. And after they helped send the Red Army home, they felt they had the same sort of license to begin oppressing their own. Eventually, they did what any well-conditioned Doberman would do – turn on those who fed and raised it.

We owed the world a cold, focused rage to go clean up a mess we had created two decades earlier.

And we botched it. We failed to give the troops who went there adequate numbers and materiel. We failed to maintain the focus on our responsibility, which allowed so many other countries to jump on a bandwagon of revanche against other groups and nations. We failed to tell other countries to stay out of our way in one small corner of earth.

And we failed to remember why we were doing it. We let evangelical and neo-colonialforces in our society twist and mutate it into an old-fashioned capital-C Crusade in which we were leading the world into broad, sunlit pastures. We failed to remember that we were, in fact, going back to clean up a nasty, brutal mess that we let fester and mold and spread.

And then we as a nation allowed a small group of people with visions of an American empire of resources twist the vision of a ‘war on terror’ into an excuse to go into Iraq. Forget all those who still say that there was evidence that Iraq wanted to sow terror in the U.S. After seven years, any semblance of connected, systematic evidence of such an Iraqi effort simply isn’t there.

And after five years of what is – and yes, it really is if you study the history – another damn Vietnam, we’re finally realizing that we lost sight of what we were supposed to do in Afghanistan. Except that, unlike Vietnam, we may very well have destabilized the region we were trying to uplift and control.

We have allowed our government to misuse our armed forces, stretch them thin, and then ask them to go back and do what we didn’t allow them to do – scrub Afghanistan with a wire brush. Assuming, of course, that we would have any better luck than Afghanistan’s previous occupiers.

Seven years after, the memory of all those dead people in New York and northern Virginia and Pennsylvania has been besmirched because we allowed a third-rate political scion and his Nixon-era handlers to corrupt an opportunity to make good on one of many errors of judgement.

The next time you hear someone say that we’re on a mission from God, please, please demand that they show a receipt or a work order or a certified letter from God. If they can’t, tell them to go to hell.

May 15, 2008

Another entry in the “I kid you not” department . . .

and quite possibly at the same convenience store where Stiletto had her ‘night of the zombie doughnut’ moment just over a year ago (or was it two?).

I was driving back from taking a relative to the ophthalmologist today, and stopped at said convenience store (Interstate 81, Va. exit 14) to relive myself and buy a soda. After entering the men’s room and flipping on the light switch, I was greeted by an approximately 20″ by 20″ placard above the crapper, announcing “God Bless America”  and displaying a wind-furled American flag.

The only thing missing was Kate Smith, which may have been a good thing seeing that it was the men’s room and that I’ve never quite thought of Kate Smith as a public restroom-trolling whore.

Maybe it was a sign (metaphysically or spiritually speaking) or merely appropriate commentary on the current election season.

Stiletto: I didn’t see a Krispy Kreme case here, but that could be because the Bristol, Va. Krispy Kreme closed back in 2002.

April 11, 2008

On mortality

Filed under: God, humanism — Tags: , — Frontier Former Editor @ 2:46 pm

One can laugh and laugh, and then something like this comes along:

The Guardian, Tuesday April 1 2008

The German photographer Walter Schels thinks it not only odd, but wrong that death is so hidden from view. Aged 72, he’s also keenly aware that his own death is getting closer. Which is why, a few years ago, he embarked on a bizarre project. He decided to shoot a series of portraits of people both before and after they had died. The result is a collection of photographs of 24 people – ranging from a baby of 17 months to a man of 83 – that goes on show in London next week. Alongside the portraits are the stories of the individuals concerned, penned by Beate Lakotta, Schels’ partner, who spent time with the subjects in their final days and who listened as they told her how it felt to be nearing the end of their lives.

Photos here

December 6, 2007

We live in a truly enlightened age . . . . my ass

Things have been a little off in my world lately, but I’ve recently come to the conclusion that Barbara Walters has done a great service to the world – she’s shown just how low the state of education in this country has fallen.

Case in point, Sherry Shepherd . . . .


Ms. Shepherd’s recent observations that Christianity predates even Greek and early Roman civilization and quite possibly man and dinosaurs is a great relief to me.  I was wondering just how stupid that American society has become, and Shepherd has graciously provided a quantifiable benchmark to measure that stupidity.


October 11, 2007

Faith doesn’t bother me at all . . . .

Filed under: God, rationality, reason, religion, science, Uncategorized — Frontier Former Editor @ 11:45 am

but churches who sloganeer on their signboards leave me cold.

Driving to work yesterday, I saw a signboard from a local church with this piece of bumper-sticker wisdom:

“Science that doesn’t bring us closer to God is useless.”

 I hate to say it, but all science is an attempt to bring us closer to the meaning of our existence. Like most religions, those attempts are imperfect and sometimes perverse, but they all have as a result some understanding of why and who and what we are.

Galileo, Copernicus and Kepler all brought us a smidge closer to understanding our place in the cosmos by giving some measurable, visible concept of the earth’s relationship to the stars.

Darwin (God bless his heart, because the fundamentalists are damning him to hell) postulated a theory that made sense and provided a sensible basis for evaluating how we became what we are. If that isn’t trying to bring us closer to whatever made us possible, then I’m burning in hell.

Intelligent design also brings us closer to God (whatever he , she or it is), in that it provides an excellent example of how rational, empirical thought and reason can be shunted aside by superstition or mysticism.

 The science that led to the atomic bomb also brought us closer to God by showing us just how little we grasp of the power of what surrounds us.

And even the torture and bestiality practiced by Mengele brings us closer to God by demonstrating how science can be be corrupted, perverted, twisted or mocked by those with good or evil intentions.

Somehow, I think the person who arranged the letters on that church signboard really meant to say “All thought that doesn’t mesh with ours is irrelevant.”

And, even though it isn’t particularly scientific, the implications of it also bring us a little closer to whatever God is or isn’t.

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