Frontier Former Editor

March 13, 2009

Where have you gone, Louis Rukeyser? Our nation holds its lonely eyes to you . .

If anyone ever questions or trivializes the role of satire and humor in society, they should remember this 10-minute segment.

Especially in a time where Citibank is hosting conference calls – on our tax dime – to encourage union-busting and who-knows-what-else.

What Stewart did is in the best tradition of Petroleum V. Nasby, Herblock, Samuel Clemens, Mort Sahl, George Carlin, Tom Lehrer and hosts of other humorists – ridicule, embarass, shame, humiliate and destroy anything that would prey upon society.

This society needs a huge sweep to remind ‘big business,’ ‘Wall Street,’ and every other over-dominant segment of the American business and political scene that acting like Charles Keating did in the  years leading up the the savings and loan scandals of the 1980s may not be child molestation but is just about as legally and morally defensible as being a child molester.

And while we’re at it on a bleak Friday afternoon, please allow Rush Limbaugh to continue broadcasting and expressing his opinion. Part of a free society is having the right to express one’s opinions and having the responsibility to defend the logic and rationality of those opinions.

And please allow Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele the right to express his political views for the same reason – even if he lacks the intellectual weight to generate rational policy and philosophical positions.

By the way – even Louis Rukeyser got caught violating federal trading rules, so be thankful, Jim Cramer. Be very, very thankful.

October 15, 2008

Everyone’s favorite ‘Salem’s Lot’ character that wasn’t included in the book

With all the hoopin’ and hollerin’ about our most favorite presidential election since, well . . . . since Nixon vs. McGovern, it’s all too easy to forget old friends like . . . .

 

 

Yep, Graf Cheney is having heart trouble again. After all, if you were nosferatu and faced having to move all those caskets of home earth after eight years . . . even with government allowances, it’s still hard to find Secret Service agents willing to ride the Borgo Pass this time of year.

 

And on other matters, I still wonder why no one has made a case for Sarah Palin being the reincarnation of Spiro T. Agnew. After all, she’s got Spiro’s winning way with selected and tamed groups of working folk (Philadelphia definitely didn’t fall in that category), and she’s got a gubernatorial pedegree much like that of Agnew’s.

 

Maybe if Cheney’s heart procedure is successful , he can help bring life to Palin’s national political aspirations. Eternal life . . . . .

October 11, 2008

Bobby May

After two years away from covering Southwest Virginia politics, it warms my heart to watch a late season election train wreck.

Except when you know some of the principals in the wreck. Then it’s a combination of laughter, cringing, headshaking, disgust, incomprehension, pity, anger, bemusement, lather, rinse, repeat.

Any of you who read the Los Angeles Times or watch MSNBC may already have digested the story of Bobby May from Hurley, Va..

I know Bobby May. I also know Earl Cole, the newspaper entrepreneur who printed Bobby’s discourse on Barack Obama.

The Los Angeles Times apparently broke the story, so go get a gander at it here.

Bobby is (and quite possibly was, if this little tempest runs its course) an entrepreneur whose stock in trade is political paraphernalia: buttons, signs, banners, stickers, key rings, change purses, pocket knives and just about any other promotional paraphernalia with political slogans or commercial advertising.

Covering politics, I got acquainted with Bobby and, I have to say, he was pretty entertaining and not all that bad a dinner guest. Of course he was a raging Reagan Republican but he came by it honest, unlike folks like Edwin Meese, Donald Regan, Newt Gingrich, Lee Atwater and a whole host of national Republicans in the Reagan, Bush pere’ and Bush fils administrations.

Bobby treated me relatively fairly, even if I was part of that mainstream media. But Bobby decided more than a few years ago that the mainstream media just didn’t get it, like many Republicans decided long before him.

And a few years ago, May got his crack at being mainstream media when Earl Cole started a little newspaper called ‘The Voice’ as his own way of being a gadfly to the political establishment of Buchanan County.

Especially the Democratic establishment.

I still enjoyed Bobby’s cracks at Democrats, if only because I knew Bobby was just being Bobby. But when someone called me over to their computer to show Keith Olberman’s meanest person in the world for Wednesday night, I – to crib a line from Charlie Daniels’ ‘Uneasy Rider’ – damn near died.

There was Bobby May of Hurley, Virginia with an honor typically reserved for Bill O’Reilly, Ann Coulter or some idiot congressman or Bush Administration figure.

Bobby had written his op-ed de grace. A sample:

The (clarified) platform of Barack Hussein Obama
The Voice
by Bobby May, bobbyleemay@yahoo.com

In response to criticism that I favor John McCain for president and only present “one side of the issues,” I am listing for your consideration the platform of Barack Hussein Obama as best as I can figure it out after venting all of the hot air, straining out the honey and removing the smelly substance similar to what the old bull left behind.

I think I’ve did (sic) a pretty good job of boiling his positions down to their very essence for the sake of clarity. . . .

REPARATIONS TO BLACK COMMUNITY:  Opposes before Election Day and supports after Election Day.

FREEDOM OF RELIGION: Mandatory Black Liberation Theology courses taught in all churches–raise taxes to pay for this mandate.  Put Rev. Jeremiah Wright in charge.  Condemnation of homosexuality from the pulpit will become a Class 1 Felony.

HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE:  Raise taxes.  And coddle sexual perverts.  Give tax breaks for NAMBLA membership fees. . . .

DRUG CRISIS:  Raise taxes to pay for free drugs for Obama’s inner-city political base. . . .

2ND AMENDMENT:  Under Obama will only apply to gang-bangers, illegal aliens, Islamo-Fascist terrorists, and Senator Jim Webb’s aide. . . .

FOREIGN RELATIONS:  Appoint Rev. Al Sharpton as Secretary of State, Jesse Jackson as UN Representative and let Bill Clinton handle all other “foreign relations” … as long as Hillary doesn’t find out!  And raise taxes.

THE WHITE HOUSE:  Hire rapper Ludacris to “paint it black.”  Taxes to be increased to buy enough paint to do the job plus spray-paint for graffiti.

THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES:  Raise taxes to send $845 billion, send most to Africa so the Obama family there can skim off enough to allow them to free their goats and live the American Dream. . . .

NATIONAL ANTHEM:  Change to the “Black National Anthem” by James Weldon Johnson.  And raise taxes. . . .

U.S. CURRENCY:  Updatephotos to reflect U.S. diversity; include pictures of “great Americans” such as Oprah Winfrey, Ludacris, Sheila Jackson-Lee, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson(Obama’s new Secretary of the Treasury–50 Cent refused position after learning that he would lose his crazy check if he accepted the nomination).  And raise taxes. . . .

U.S. MILITARY:  Confiscate all weapons, substitute water pistols, pea shooters, and bows with suction cup arrows.  Replace U.S. flag on uniforms with peace symbols changing uniform color grom green to pink and abolishing the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, replacing it with “A queer in every foxhole and a camouflage sex toy in every backpack” requirement.  Condoms will be issued instead of bullets and brotherly love encouraged.  Barney Frank will be the new Secretary of Defence (renamed Secretary of Peace and Love) and Rosie O’Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres, Lindsay Lohan and Rick Boucher will be made 5-star generals.  And raise taxes. . . .

Whilst one part of me read it and thought, “Yep, that’s typical Bobby May,” another part of me thought of the four most dangerous words one can hear in the South: “Hey y’all, watch this!”

(Editor’s note, 11-12-08: The site where a facsimile of Bobby’s article resides, it should be noted, failed to include what accompanied it: a counterpoint piece by Ron Coleman supporting Obama’s campaign. Not that it necessarily makes Bobby’s piece any more palatable, but it should be included if only to put its appearance in context of what ‘The Voice’ was trying to present.)

If this had been all there was to the story, Bobby’s little essay might have passed relatively unnoticed. But that wasn’t all. Remember how Bobby was a diehard Republican? Well, Bobby’s beliefs not only complemented his business. They extended into his extracurricular life as the treasurer of the Buchanan County Republican Party and as the local organizer of Team McCain-Palin activities.

And the special sauce on this political hoagie? The Los Angeles Times happened to send a reporter to Buchanan County to sample the red state-blue state dynamic in Virginia last week – including the availability of a certain publication titled, ‘The Voice.’

And “watch this” the ‘mainstream media’ did. And, to Bobby May’s enduring discomfort, they did ‘get it.’ So did the McCain campaign machine, which officially dropped Bobby May from Team McCain-Palin.

Given the McCain machine’s rational for zapping Bobby May, however, I have to wonder why Palin is still on the ticket.

Does this mean that Southwest Virginia is a bunch of racist, stereotype-spouting idiots? No more so than any other geographic region of the Unites States. I certainly have my misgivings about Barack Obama, but they in no way are reflected in the satirical foray made by Bobby May.

But I have plenty of misgivings about John McCain, and I saw a glimmer of reflection of those in the story of Bobby May. How is what Bobby wrote fundamentally different from the stuff that has been spewed from the McCain campaign since the Labor Day weekend?

Bobby May might have been trying to be Jonathan Swift in his modest view of Obama’s political stances. He has a lot to be modest about now.

October 6, 2008

For that maverick in all of us . . .

May 29, 2008

More on healthcare aviation in Southwest Virginia

Just before this spring, I made a few observations on corporate healthcare and air superiority in southwest Virginia.

I’d like to give a gentleman identifying himself as a pilot with one of the helicopter services mentioned in the aforementioned post a forum today:

HEY DOUCHE BAG, I am a pilot on Wings X. We have six aircraft total and Wellmont just bought one which makes a total of seven, someone needs to get some facts straight before you puke out the mouth like this…. and just to wonder how stupid shit like this gets started…Thanks for nothing assbag!
*your daddy*

Comment by Lt. Matt Hughes — May 29, 2008 @ 12:12 am

And thanks for leaving a way to respond, Lt. Matt. I think the issue is MSHA vs. Wellmont in their never-ending quest to create a monopoly and that quest spilling over into Wise County. I don’t think I’ve questioned Wings Air Rescue’s motives, commitment to patient care, or quality of service. If you want to raise such questions, please feel free.
Personally, I’m glad that Wings has six helos, although that tidbit seems not to have made it in the local papers that I’ve seen. Whether those helos would all be available for a major Wise County medevac crisis is another issue of logisitics, however. I’m glad that Wellmont has a helo too. What it comes down to is that MSHA is trying to deny Wellmont the same internal fast-transport capability for its SWVA facilities that MSHA now enjoys.
And if I’m a douchebag for pointing out that issue, then thank you for your humanitarian spirit. And, if I have to go to a Wellmont facility over here and get transferred to a critical care facility, pass on my thanks to MSHA for making possible either the ambulance ride or the wait for a Virginia State Police helo.

Recommendation: If I were you, I’d do my level best to stay from between MSHA and Wellmont in their quest for market superiority. It hasn’t been pretty in Tennessee and it doesn’t look that great in southwest Virginia.

Comment by Former Frontier Editor — May 29, 2008

 

 

 

As I recall, the departing Wise County Administrator recently was quoted in a newspaper that he had concerns that Wellmont was either pushed or persuaded to back out of its request to operate a helo service at its southwest Virginia facilities. Would you like to take the opportunity to call him a douchebag as well?

No wonder healthcare issues leave a bad taste in the mouths of some local residents.

Incidentally, I can state with authority that Matt Hughes is, in fact, not ‘my daddy’ and that, genetically speaking, I am not a colostomy or enema bag nor am I compatible for use with Summer’s Eve or similar products.

  

You have a good day, Lt. Matt.

April 9, 2008

Happy birthday Big Tom . . .

No, no. no, not that Big Tom . . . .

 

This Big Tom, whom you may know better as . . . .

 

Tom Lehrer!

Everyone in the world will be posting YouTube clips, so I’ll just save the bandwidth and point you here and here . . .

 

August 30, 2007

And if you’ve got nothing better to do . . . .

Filed under: blogging, free speech, Wordpress — Frontier Former Editor @ 11:25 am

turkish-flag2.png

via raincoaster

RE: Freedom of Speech

Dear Mr __________,

My name is __________. I live in ______ and I’m writing to you regarding an action a Turkish court has taken that is of great concern to me.

On August 17th, 2007, the Turkish Fatih 2nd Civil Court of First Instance blocked access to the WordPress.com domain. The ban on WordPress, a blogging platform hosting some 1.3 million blogs, was a response to a suit filed by lawyers for Adnan Oktar alleging that defamatory statements had been made about their client by several blogs on WordPress.com.

The ban has resulted in all blogs hosted by WordPress.com being made inaccessible to Turkey. I feel very strongly that this is an overreaction. I am a blogger on WordPress; I have done nothing wrong, but my readership is being impacted.

Even more serious is the fact that there are many innocent Turkish bloggers on WordPress.com who now cannot access their blogs or are being forced to use other means to access them. It is a violation of their free speech and that of readers from all over the world.

Please understand, this is not about whether Adnan Oktar was slandered, or about the Turkish legal system; I respect your country, as I hope you respect mine. But it has gone beyond that. Now it is about innocent Turkish bloggers being forced into silence, and countless others being denied the freedom to be read. The court could have ordered that the offending blogs and any subsequent offenders be blocked, but instead ordered the complete ban of WordPress.com. It’s the equivalent of closing a library because of a single offending book, rather than just removing the book itself.

Many websites and blogs on both WordPress.com and on other platforms are initiating campaigns in support of Turkish bloggers, and I am writing to you to express my concern, and to ask that the Turkish authorities reconsider their position.

Yours sincerely,

____________.

Steal, copy and paste at will! Vive la Resistance!

http://raincoaster.com/2007/08/19/wordpress-is-blocked-by-turkeys/

August 27, 2007

What’s one attorney general forced from office in disgrace?

Too goddamned late and not enough.

But, hey, you take what you can get.

So, without further ado,  the annotated news guide to Alberto “Heirich Himmler” Gonzales (and a not-very-smart Himmler wannabe at that) . . . .

By MATT APUZZO, Associated Press Writer 7 minutes ago

WASHINGTON – Alberto Gonzales, the nation’s first Hispanic attorney general (and a much bigger-haired version of Heinrich Himmler, Harry Daugherty and John Mitchell), announced his resignation Monday, driven from office after a wrenching standoff with congressional critics over his honesty and competence (there was no standoff over his honesty and competence – everyone knew that he was a dissembling, unethical, gutless mouthpiece with an anus big enough to have Karl Rove’s and Dick Cheney’s hands inserted to operate his eyes, head and mouth).

Republicans and Democrats alike had demanded his departure over the botched handling of FBI terror investigations and the firings of U.S. attorneys, but President Bush had defiantly stood by his Texas friend (and clinically-defined toady) for months until accepting his resignation last Friday.

(more…)

August 26, 2007

Nothing like letting the worms come out after a good rain . . . .

Wandering through the Washington Post, I found an interesting little crop of op-ed and news pieces on my favorite fat, slimy bastard, Karl Rove. Consider the source of each one . . . .

Grover Norquist

Robert Novak

Eugene Robinson

Post editorial

Harold Meyerson

 Anne E. Kornblut and Michael D. Shear

August 19, 2007

Turk 182

Filed under: blogging, Come again?, free speech, Gallipoli anyone?, Only the beginning — Frontier Former Editor @ 8:09 pm

See here

In keeping with my duty to defend free speech . . .

 Adnan Oktar was walking down the street in Istanbul. As he walked by two secularists, one said to the other, “What is Adnan Oktar doing out of jail?”

The other secularist said, “I don’t know, but he must be Harun Yahya!”

Blog at WordPress.com.