Frontier Former Editor

April 3, 2008

Snack food

Filed under: dead celebrity sweepstakes, ersatz food, humor, old times, wits — Tags: , — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:25 pm


 Sometimes you just have to make a Quentin Crisp joke as a matter of principle . . . or boredom. I blame Raincoaster for starting the mummified fairy remains movement.

I’m sure Quentin would have approved, or at least told a story about it at dinner.

September 26, 2007

Quadriplegic masturbation?

After flirting with the idea, I finally found a list of search engine terms that led to this little corner of sociopathy with a fairly repellent  term or two:

debbie gibson is pregnant with my two-he
Chris Crocker bristol
quadriplegic masturbation
Landing Signal Officers
fast food pick-up lines
Chris crocker Kingsport tn

And no, I’m not referring to the ‘Chris Crocker’ hits. ‘Quadriplegic masturbation,’ on the other hand (no pun intended) leaves me wondering if Stephen Hawking has too much time on his puffer valve.

As for ‘how tall was Heinrich Himmler’: Well, the experten at have this to say:

JDrozen says on 10/Jan/06
Hitler’s height is easy to calculate, he was 5,8. Compare him to Himmler who was one inch taller then Adolf. One of the condition to be a member of the SS is the minimum required height of 5,9 which was the body height of Heinrich Himmler.”

But only his undertaker knows for sure . . . .

As for ‘dick cheney athiest’; Dick, you’re the prince of darkness. With all that indoor time between sunrise and sunset, at least learn proper capitalization of your name and how to spell ‘atheist.’

August 29, 2007

And people wonder why we think the nation’s economy and sense of decency are out of whack?

 Queen of Mean? More like a petty bitch to me . . .


Helmsley Dog Gets $12 Million, but Real Estate Billionaire Leaves Nothing to 2 Grandchildren

NEW YORK (AP) — Leona Helmsley’s dog will continue to live an opulent life, and then be buried alongside her in a mausoleum. But two of Helmsley’s grandchildren got nothing from the late luxury hotelier and real estate billionaire’s estate.Helmsley left her beloved white Maltese, named Trouble, a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court.

She also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, who was named to care for Trouble in her absence, as well as two of four grandchildren from her late son Jay Panzirer — so long as they visit their father’s grave site once each calendar year.

Otherwise, she wrote, neither will get a penny of the $5 million she left for each.

Helmsley left nothing to two of Jay Panzirer’s other children — Craig and Meegan Panzirer — for “reasons that are known to them,” she wrote.


August 28, 2007

And here’s why Larry Craig’s a public relations nightmare . . .

Filed under: cool stuff, dead celebrity sweepstakes, humor, old times, Paul Lynde, Sex lies and 6 o'clock news — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:12 pm

He should have just embraced his inner Paul Lynde and not his inner Midnight Cowboy . . . .

August 18, 2007

Clash of cultures

Filed under: cool stuff, dead celebrity sweepstakes, guitar heroes, music, Not-so satanic verses, old times — Frontier Former Editor @ 11:14 pm

One of the classic obituary moments I recall was when Joe Strummer died. The duty editor that evening in the newsroom where I was working observed that Strummer had finally answered the musical question: should I stay or should I go?

In that vein, let’s degenerate the faithful . . .

or go here until I can get WordPress to do my bidding . . . .

April 30, 2006

Putting life into perspective

Filed under: be all you can be, cool stuff, dead celebrity sweepstakes, doomed to repeat, humor, old times — Frontier Former Editor @ 1:32 pm

When I wonder if I’ve lived a worthwhile life, I always take cold comfort in the words of piano player, Harvard mathematician and humorist Tom Lehrer.

Lehrer once said (adjusted to my own 43 years) that “When Mozart was my age, he’d been dead for eight years.”

Coutesy of “Things Other People Accomplished
When They Were Your Age
” –

At age 43:

Music teacher William Herschel discovered Uranus.

Marie Curie won her second Nobel prize, for the isolation of pure radium.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy became the youngest man elected to the United States presidency.

Soviet cosmonaut Georgy Timofeyevich Beregovoi was the oldest man ever to join the cosmonaut corps.

Baseball player Nolan Ryan pitched the sixth no-hitter of his career.

Annie Taylor, a widowed school teacher, went over the 160-foot-high Horseshoe Falls in a barrel.

Isabel Peron, a former professional dancer, became the first female chief of state in the Americas when she took over as President of Argentina.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote the poem Kubla Khan.

Sarah Byrd Askew created the first bookmobile.

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