Frontier Former Editor

June 4, 2011

A Spaniard and a German walk into a bar with a cucumber …

Filed under: cuisine, culture, disease, humor, Old World, public health — Tags: , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 5:44 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehObqTGXpL4

March 27, 2011

Space-clearing oddities . . .

Wal-Mart is still the top-grossing spectator sport in the South, far in excess of NASCAR. Especially when one wanders through the local Wal-Mart  to peek at what’s in the various, strategically-placed bargain bins. CD’s and DVD’s have been the latest and most popular fire-lane obstructions in the chain’s loss-leader marketing.

On Thursday, I think I might have made two significant cultural discoveries in a CD bin – possible the two shortest, commercially released music CD’s in U.S. history: Kenny G Super Hits and Vanilla Ice Greatest Hits.

Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars . . . .

March 13, 2009

Where have you gone, Louis Rukeyser? Our nation holds its lonely eyes to you . .

If anyone ever questions or trivializes the role of satire and humor in society, they should remember this 10-minute segment.

Especially in a time where Citibank is hosting conference calls – on our tax dime – to encourage union-busting and who-knows-what-else.

What Stewart did is in the best tradition of Petroleum V. Nasby, Herblock, Samuel Clemens, Mort Sahl, George Carlin, Tom Lehrer and hosts of other humorists – ridicule, embarass, shame, humiliate and destroy anything that would prey upon society.

This society needs a huge sweep to remind ‘big business,’ ‘Wall Street,’ and every other over-dominant segment of the American business and political scene that acting like Charles Keating did in the  years leading up the the savings and loan scandals of the 1980s may not be child molestation but is just about as legally and morally defensible as being a child molester.

And while we’re at it on a bleak Friday afternoon, please allow Rush Limbaugh to continue broadcasting and expressing his opinion. Part of a free society is having the right to express one’s opinions and having the responsibility to defend the logic and rationality of those opinions.

And please allow Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele the right to express his political views for the same reason – even if he lacks the intellectual weight to generate rational policy and philosophical positions.

By the way – even Louis Rukeyser got caught violating federal trading rules, so be thankful, Jim Cramer. Be very, very thankful.

January 1, 2009

The Spirit is weak . . .

Filed under: art or something like it, artistic license, cinema, comics, culture, movies — Tags: , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 2:53 pm

spirit_harvey11

I enjoy a good comic book movie as much as the next American male. That said, I have never watched a comic book movie that talks so much and says so little.

‘Sin City’-style cinematography, several fight scenes, a naked Eva Mendes , and Samuel L. Jackson couldn’t even save it.

I damn near spent ny New Year’s Eve passed out in a theater, and I wasn’t even drunk.

‘Howard the Duck’ was better than this.

December 21, 2008

Workplace sanitation and Russian military aircraft

My current employer (‘a leader in solutions for the business community’) apparently hasn’t a clue when it comes to solutions for its community of workers.

Case in point: Restroom facilities.

On Friday, we had staffers from our client (‘a leader in solutions for bank customers that ISN’T getting bailed out yet’ – not a bad selling point these days) visit the site to see how well we can do the job at about 75% of the cost of the client’s regular employees. Of course, so as to not show the visitors what heathens and savages we are, we were barred from using the front restrooms so they could mess them up, have illicit sex in private, etc.

Perhaps more details is required here. The building has four restrooms: a mass facility each for male and female and each capable of handling about 8 simultaneous excretors (I don’t frequent of surveil the ladies room, so maybe Chuck Berry could come in handy here), and a one-holer for male and female up front. During daytime hours, the building has about 300 people working.

To add to the normal hilarity, maintenance will shut down one mass facility – usually during peak break times – for cleaning.

I won’t begin to address the age-old ‘potty parity’ issue here except to say that our corporation needs to revise its standard floor plan for new call centers.

Back to Friday.

In the midst of trying to impress our client, our computer link with the client’s customer service software crashed for three hours. I was on my extended midday break and missed that fun, but they saved some for me for my evening shift.

A sequence of two e-mails announced that the men’s mass facility would be shut down that day since the single water shutoff valve handled both mass rooms. Since the visitors had left, the two front one-holers would be men-only.

Five minutes later, the internal e-mail service announced that both mass facilities would be shut down for construction, leaving one one-holer for men and one for women that evening. Even with about 100 people on evening/night shift, the front plumbing was running pretty heavily.

That arrangement persisted all day Saturday., when about 250 people were on duty.  Now, applied probability and statistics pretty well guarantees that, even with just adults in the user group, someone’s going to have some sort of catastrophic or extended incident during their visit. And even more application makes it likely that someone having such an incident will not have the decency to clean up after themselves.

That held true. In euphemistic terms, if Lee Harvey Oswald had dropped about two or three mils on his sighting on John F. Kennedy, the lower interior of his limousine would have looked much like the adjacent floor and wall tiles of the men’s toilet.

Saturday was an interesting day. When the computer system crashed again across our building and our client’s main facility, it was a relief when several of us were given early outs. Missing two hours pay was worth it to get the hell out of there. Otherwise we might have been assigned in shifts to burn diesel oil on drums of human waste.

What of Russian military aviation, you might be asking? The site manager had sent out another e-mail Friday, congratulating us for suitably impressing the client delegation  and for the wonderful military-themed bulletin board honoring our client’s main customer base. As I was heading out the door, one photo on the board caught my eye since I’m a bit of  an aviation enthusiast.

Amid all those photos of American servicemembers sacrificing themselves and defending our freedom was a photo of a Sukhoi Su-27.

Do svidaniya

October 9, 2008

Glossary of movie terms

Filed under: art, cinema, culture, Hollywood uber Alles, humor, Jack Valenti is dead, movies, observations — Tags: , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:46 pm

I watched a movie Thursday. Without going into plot details (actually irrelevant for the purposes of this post), I would like to place three of the descriptive terms applied to this movie by the cable movie details subscreen:

‘Stylish’ – The director seems inspired by music videos, and not very good ones.

‘Smart’ – The director probably attended a Hitchcock film festival in college and now thinks; ‘Hey, I’ll bet no one uses odd camera angles and visual narrative like that anymore, so I’ll use it and look original!’

‘Taut’ – The film editor and producer cut 40 minutes of film to get rid of the self-indulgent and poorly executed Hitchcockian scenes, including the one where the director is walking a poodle down a crowded sidewalk.

April 9, 2008

Happy birthday Big Tom . . .

No, no. no, not that Big Tom . . . .

 

This Big Tom, whom you may know better as . . . .

 

Tom Lehrer!

Everyone in the world will be posting YouTube clips, so I’ll just save the bandwidth and point you here and here . . .

 

September 23, 2007

Another reason why the Turkish ban on WordPress makes absolutely no damned sense

Filed under: censorship, culture, food, Turkish Court Bans Wordpress.com, Turkish cuisine — Tags: — Frontier Former Editor @ 3:35 pm

The blog Benim Mutfagim absolutely wowed me. Now, while it’s easily to grab any man’s attention with food, the sheer beauty and deliciousness of this blog points straight to a core concern with Adnan Oktar’s maneuvers for the Turkish court ban on WordPress.com.

Basic elements of life are where we find the common bonds among humanity. If a religious fanatic/charlatan/huckster can seal off such blogs from Turkish view or even chop off Turkish blogs from continued contact with us, what does this say about those who would claim diivine guidance.

If one man would prevent thousands or even millions from breaking bread – even electronically – just how spiritual is he?

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