Frontier Former Editor

September 1, 2007

Larry never lost his head, even when he was soliciting head . . .

at the Minnie,

St. Paul Airport,

restroom

And all the Senate pages were goin’ doo, da doo, da doo, da doo da doo, doo, da doo . . . .

 This one’s for you, Larry . . . .

August 28, 2007

The perfect solution for constituent service offices . . . .

Larry Craig should stand up and take credit for coming up with the perfect solution for cheap office space for constituent service offcies across congressional districts – public restrooms!

From the Minneapolis-St. Paul Star-Tribune . . .

“U.S. Sen. Larry Craig, an Idaho Republican, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in Minnesota this month after being arrested by a plainclothes police officer investigating complaints of lewd conduct in a men’s restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport . . . .Craig was arrested at the airport on June 11, according to Roll Call, a Capitol Hill newspaper. According to police reports, Craig kept watching the undercover police officer through a crack in the bathroom stall, Roll Call reported. Craig then entered the next-door stall and placed his luggage against the opening under the stall door.

“My experience has shown that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall,” said the officer, Sgt. Dave Karsnia.

(more…)

August 19, 2007

Turk 182

Filed under: blogging, Come again?, free speech, Gallipoli anyone?, Only the beginning — Frontier Former Editor @ 8:09 pm

See here

In keeping with my duty to defend free speech . . .

 Adnan Oktar was walking down the street in Istanbul. As he walked by two secularists, one said to the other, “What is Adnan Oktar doing out of jail?”

The other secularist said, “I don’t know, but he must be Harun Yahya!”

June 21, 2007

The most obscene product names I’ve seen this week . . .

Filed under: Come again?, food, food extenders, muffins, obscenity, Walmart — Frontier Former Editor @ 11:20 pm

While buying a quantity of Sam’s Peanut Butter Cups to conduct ballistic tests, my heat-induced wanderings through Wal-Mart’s aisles revealed three things:

1) A ghostly vision of Sam Walton spying on his employees for signs of unionizing, and

2) & 3) The most obscene product names I’ve seen this week – Otis Spunkmeyer Muffins and Hamburger Helper Potatoes Stroganoff.

June 4, 2007

“Have you had a sexual encounter with a current member of the United States Congress or a high-ranking government official?”

Filed under: Come again?, free govt. stuff, lost weekend, obscenity, public relations, Satanic verses, scumbags — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:44 am

I knew my chance to get rich would come eventually!

Hustler offers $1 million for sex smut on Congress

“WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Hustler magazine is looking for some scandalous sex in Washington again — and willing to pay for it.

“Have you had a sexual encounter with a current member of the United States Congress or a high-ranking government official?” read a full-page advertisement taken out by Larry Flynt’s pornographic magazine in Sunday’s Washington Post.

It offered $1 million for documented evidence of illicit intimate relations with a congressman, senator or other prominent officeholder. A toll-free number and e-mail address were provided.

The last time Flynt made such an offer was in October 1998 during the drive to impeach President Bill Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky scandal.”

Dear Mr. Flynt,

 I have been repeatedly gangraped by all 435 535 members of Congress; the inhabitants of the White House, Naval Observatory and some remote secure location in Cheyenne Mountain, Wyoming; and the entire Justice Department. Of course, several million of my fellow Americans may be filing the same claim, so I got dibs!

April 4, 2006

The decline and fall of consumerism . . . .

Filed under: Come again?, marketing, societal niceties — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:19 pm

When I was a wee one (or relatively wee), the most socially uncomfortable commercials I remembered were:

– bras/girdles
– very vague feminine hygiene products (except for that g**d****d Brenda Vaccaro ad)

Now, I’m certainly no prude but, in the space of a couple of days, I’ve been reminded of the supposed enlightenment and openess of our modern society by

– a tampon commercial where the user demonstrates her newfound freedom by stripping to her skivvies and diving off a fishing pier
– a hemmorhoid relief commercial featuring the larger size of its pre-treated wipes
– a KY Jelly commercial with a couple – the man’s eyes light up when the woman explains how KY can be used anywhere.

Kind of makes one miss liquor and cigarette commercials . . .

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