Frontier Former Editor

December 21, 2008

So what if I’m an agnostic?

Filed under: Christmas — Tags: — Frontier Former Editor @ 8:27 pm

Can’t I still wish all of you all peace and goodwill toward men, albeit in an irreverent manner that will send me to hell – if there is a hell?


December 22, 2007

Christmas is a penance for agnostics, I think

Filed under: Christianity, Christmas — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:22 pm

Maybe ‘penance’ isn’t the right word, or maybe it is. At any rate, Christmas is a time when all sorts of strange thoughts start throwing my thought processes into a barrel roll.

The other day, I wished upon a barely post-teen co-worker (hardly a fellow co-worker) the same sort of stress I go through as a middle-ager. At that point, I realized I was being far meaner and evil than if I had wished death, disease or violence upon him.

And even though I question the sort of mysticism that passes as faith these days in the U.S., I keep hoping that people really would embrace the true philosophy and spirit that one Jesus Christ embodied. It surely would be an improvement over today’s Christianity and might make the season one of peace, comfort and joy, although many modern American Christians would think he was a long-haired Communist freak.

The best Christmas treat I’ve found this year – one pack each of coconut macaroons and orange jelly slices. I don’t know – they just sounded and tasted good. I bet they would have been better with a cup of tea.

And the best love song I’ve ever heard . . .

or the original at:

October 6, 2007

Stephen Hawking is soooooo bad . . . .

Filed under: Christmas, humor, physics, Stephen Hawking — Frontier Former Editor @ 11:58 pm


 – when Chuck Norris tried to roundhouse-kick him, he postulated a neutrino-rich environment so dense that Chuck barely made it a quarter-turn before stopping dead in his tracks.

– when he needs knowledge, he stares and blows two puffs in his wheelchair control to create a four-volume set.

– life in Alpha Centauri measures distance in Hawking-years.

– he didn’t need the ‘Vomit Comet’ to fly parabolic arcs to experience weightlessness – he used his sheer intellect to create a negatively-charged field that supported both him and the airplane.

– wears a t-shirt that says “Arthur C. Clarke can kiss my bony white ass.”

– unlike Heisenberg, can measure and describe physical events at the exact same time and location they occur.

– instead of spinners, he installed perpetual-motion flywheels on his wheelchair that generate limitless power and look bitchin when he cruises around Oxford University.

– he makes Freddie Mercury’s smile look perfect and still doesn’t give a f*ck.

Update: Rain reminded me of this goody (courtesy of Raincoaster – couldn’t find):

The Stephen Hawking Christmas Album


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