Frontier Former Editor

December 11, 2008

How I spent my disappearance

Filed under: Uncategorized — Frontier Former Editor @ 12:03 am

As some of you might have noticed, I went missing shortly after election night. This is an example of why I have been rather imperfect in relationships and general human behavior – when things go weird, I can get over-focused or at least shed some pars of my life. That’s not an excuse, just an observation.

Anyway, it was a learning experience even if the lessons were things that most of you probably already know. But for the sake of accounting for a lost month worthy of Ray Milland, here goes:

I’ve found that a lot of white folks are still as racist in America as they were decades ago. That came from the days before Election Day, standing in line on election morning, and hearing folks talk about how they couldn’t buy guns because there was a rush on gun buying because ‘Obama’s gonna take away our guns, y’know?’

I got a refresher course on how frightening it gets when your parents are sick after my mother spent at least four late-night sessions in the hospital getting three- and four-pint transfusions after she started developing low blood cell counts after finishing chemo and radiation for cancer and getting a clean bill of health. The jury’s out on whether a round of outpatient surgery last week has ended that situation.  Also watching my father’s eyesight starting to deteriorate more rapidly added to the feeling of helplessness. That feeling hasn’t left, and I don’t expect it to.

I haven’t been getting much in the way of regular sleep, and it’s shown in one rather interesting and frustrating way – my short-term memory has been for crap. I can look at people I’ve known for years and forget their name., and it’s getting to be a regular part of my day.

I started writing a book, and that has gone by the wayside because of some of the prior items.

I found today that I made a young woman at work cry today, and I was glad. The fact that she was engaging in  conduct with a married manager at my workplace and that both were shuffling workload onto myself and others so they could enjoy long conversations and long disappearances during working hour pushed me over the edge, and I filed a written complaint with interesting turns of phrase such as ‘hostile work environment,’  ‘age and sex discrimination,’ and ‘prior instances.’ Apparently another manager read the complaint to both parties. She cried and left early because she was ‘upset.’  The first manager avoided me like the plague, but it hasn’t been the first time he’s done this stuff and to me. I’ve got no damn sympathy for either of them.

And I remembered how much I miss people coming around here, whether they were giving me hell, teasing me, joking, chatting or just reminding me I’m not the only one with problems and fears.

Sorry to have upset those of you who were worried.

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7 Comments »

  1. Yes, we’ve missed you. No, you don’t have to offer explanations, unless it helps.

    Comment by Vicus Scurra — December 11, 2008 @ 3:02 am

  2. Courage, mon Brave

    It’s great to have you back

    Your obedient servant etc

    G E

    Comment by G Eagle Esq — December 11, 2008 @ 3:07 am

  3. He lives!

    Yes we have desperately longed for a sign of life from you!

    Sorry to hear about your parents. As far as the office hanky panky, it did put a smile on my face. You go, hellraiser!

    Comment by Stiletto — December 11, 2008 @ 12:18 pm

  4. So, quit it. Disappearing when things get weird, I mean. You know you do it, so… just one quick post stating “the crap is flying around here faster than seagulls piling on a half-eaten hamburger bun” and we’ll get the picture.

    Don’t make me get my leather paddle.

    Comment by sledpress — December 11, 2008 @ 5:57 pm

  5. When I read the “memorial services” comment from Sledpress on the election post I burst into tears, not realising at first that she was joking.

    Sorry things have been so rough for you lately, but you should never forget that you have friends here who care about you and that we are here to offer whatever help or comfort we can give you … so feel free to shamelessly use us!

    Comment by azahar — December 12, 2008 @ 3:18 am

  6. Aw, Az, I am so sorry. I have a sense of humor so dry that sometimes it flakes off in winter, like an ole tired vacation tan. Well, at least we’ve convinced the Editor he’s loved.

    Comment by sledpress — December 12, 2008 @ 11:11 am

  7. Late to the party. Nothing to say except “Welcome back,” “We’ve missed you,” and general noises of support such as have been adequately expressed by those above. Hang in there.

    Comment by Metro — December 18, 2008 @ 11:35 am


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