Frontier Former Editor

July 12, 2008

To the tall comely redhead of Irish descent with fierce hands and a huge heart (not to mention three cats).

Filed under: blogging, fake journalism, journalism, newspapers, politics — Tags: , , , , — Frontier Former Editor @ 9:39 pm

Stiletto suggested that I try and convince you to start a blog.

Seeing that you have some appreciation for reporters, yes, you should start a blog and for some very good reasons, such as:

  • Lou Dobbs. Express your disgust for pandering, middle-age, modern-day Know-Nothings and mugwumps who cite thinly-veiled racism as a justification for a Father Knows Best smugness and self-serving garbage. And not all of them are white, middle aged or male, either.
  • ‘New Journalism.’ What was wrong with ‘old journalism,’ where you went out and reported fairly, factually and in context about what mattered in one’s community and country, regardless of how uncomfortable and infuriated it made the subjects or the readers, and where good reporters and editors knew how to keep their beats at the proper arm’s length while getting to know everyone who had a stake in knowing just what in hell was going on behind government and business doors?
  • Entertainment journalism. The biggest f’in oxymoron since Bush’s ‘compassionate conservatism’ and ‘military intelligence.’
  • Ambrose Bierce. Sometimes a reporter needs to stand up during an interview and tell the subject – especially a politician, policeman, lawyer, judge or other appointed official – ‘bullshit’ and have the education and background to make it stick.
  • Reading. Reading anything – especially anything other than a journalism or web design textbook – can broaden a young reporter’s mind. Read up on how sewer and water treatment works. Snag a copy of your local school system’s curriculum to seem just what in hell they are teaching. Read that piece of legislation to see just what’s tucked in among ‘the good this bill will bring to our constituents.’ Read anything about the nuts and bolts of your particular beat. Read some damn history. Read a probability and statistics textbook so you can start to understand some of the statistical BS flowing from your local, state and federal government.
  • History. Again, read lots and lots of history. Read about Jesse Jackson standing on the balcony of a Memphis hotel and see what kind of perspective it puts around him wanting to see Barack Obama’s nuts cut off. Read about Nixon – that alone is a textbook on the last 40 years of American politics.
  • Faith. Learn to discern between faith and pseudo-religious bullshit. Go back and read some theology (and not the damn tracts and free inspirational scripture you find laying around these days.) Read about Martin Luther, Francis of Assisi, the Popes, the Protestant movement in all its guises, Islam, Judaism, Orthodoxy, atheism, agnosticism, Shintoism, Buddhism, religious reformations and counter reformations, and then realize just how little you and we all know. Then go back and read more.
  • The world. If you’ve done any of the above, you may have noticed that the world is a cruel, faddish and nasty place tolerable only because people still manage to show some humanity. Do what you can and don’t get discouraged because the cruelty and stupidity seem endless. The capacity for humanity is pretty endless too.
  • Humor. You gotta laugh at some of the crap that goes on, and sometimes humor is the best way to corner and kill it.

Besides, maybe Stiletto will let you run some pictures of her all oiled up and wearing nothing but a towel.

Oh yeah, and there’s Krispy Kreme donuts too . . .

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87 Comments »

  1. Who knew blogs would be the courting arena of the 21st Century?

    Comment by max — July 13, 2008 @ 5:33 am

  2. Oops – not courting. Just doing my small part in the fight against global corporatization of media.

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 13, 2008 @ 6:20 am

  3. Will I ruin the surprise if I lead her here, or would you prefer she stumble upon you?

    Comment by Stiletto — July 13, 2008 @ 1:39 pm

  4. Your discretion. I just do the writing

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 13, 2008 @ 2:14 pm

  5. This calls for covert links.

    Comment by max — July 13, 2008 @ 5:06 pm

  6. I’ve got nothing to hide, except for that embarassing bikini quiz . . .

    Comment by Former Frontier Editor — July 13, 2008 @ 5:14 pm

  7. Somewhat to my astonishment, I find myself compelled to conclude that this must have something to do with me.

    It’s actually Scots-Irish compounded with Norwegian, and “comely” has to be Stiletto’s generosity toward a middle-aged party who resembles the young H. P. Lovecraft in profile, but the red head and three cats and so on: it seems the equivalent of a trout in the milk.

    I can lift heavy things, and hang naughty satires around the necks of uptight conservative journalistic closet queens (elucidation upon request). Should I blog, or write a third novel?

    Comment by Sledpress — July 14, 2008 @ 12:20 am

  8. Both – maybe one will fund the other. Besides, anyone who would compare their looks to ol’ Howard Phillips must be ornery enough to do both.

    Lifting heavy things is good too. I’m Welsh, German, Huguenot and a mix of whatever else my antecedents stumbled across in drunken error.

    Welcome aboard and feel free to be critical – everyone else is and that hasn’t stopped me in two years (and 14 in the journalism biz).

    We are all looking forward to corrupting you, or vice versa.

    Or. given the Norwegian element, should I say, “Ya, you betcha”?

    Comment by Former Frontier Editor — July 14, 2008 @ 4:51 am

  9. The Norwegian are a stealth contingent who mainly show up in the jawline, and of course, this being America, there were Krauts in the woodpile too. I only found those ancestors recently, but I always suspected it because sometimes I write long sentences with the verb near the end.

    I’ll take “ornery,” but I have to pace myself and trust me, you can’t count on making any money writing fiction (unless you count “entertainment journalism” as fiction, come to think of it, which you might!)I have not even broken even on the first two books, but I wrote them for a lark and to make local politicians pull their hair out. It yielded the piquant pleasure of spinning a reporter from the Washington Post Arlington-Alexandria bureau.

    Fun true fact: my late and ex-husband portrayed Ambrose Bierce in a more or less one man show in community theater. There were elements of type casting.

    Comment by Sledpress — July 14, 2008 @ 8:56 am

  10. There’s a Norwegian in the wood pile–Isn’t it good?

    However, you may wish to check your dental plan if they’re showing up in your jawline.

    I don’t know about being unable to make money off fiction. I hear Anne Coulter supplements her income from speaking at jungvolk rallies by doing that.

    Welcome, and may your gods defend you.

    Comment by Metro — July 14, 2008 @ 7:13 pm

  11. Ann Coulter: Baldur von Schirach in red drag, with a really bad hangover.

    Comment by Sledpress — July 14, 2008 @ 9:16 pm

  12. Ha! Anyone who can include ‘Baldur von Schirach’ in a sentence is alright by me! I’ll bet it got so quiet in here, though, that you could hear a Ribbentrop . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 14, 2008 @ 10:09 pm

  13. Pass the champagne, I’ll drink to that. But let’s skip the Frick’n Jodl’ing.

    Comment by Sledpress — July 14, 2008 @ 11:26 pm

  14. Just like Canaris in a coal mine . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 15, 2008 @ 6:02 am

  15. If you bring up Kohl, you’re going into a whole new generation of German politicians and I’m not playing without a helmut.

    Comment by Sledpress — July 15, 2008 @ 8:07 am

  16. Sorry about the nasal quality of my voice, Adenauers, you know . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 15, 2008 @ 1:17 pm

  17. Just don’t tell me you’re wearing a Merkel.

    Comment by Sledpress — July 15, 2008 @ 1:40 pm

  18. PS. If the referees consider that one below the belt I’ll withdraw it.

    Comment by Sledpress — July 15, 2008 @ 1:57 pm

  19. You know, people will say we’re Goering around in circles . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 15, 2008 @ 3:45 pm

  20. And it’s a Merkel I can even dredge up some of these.

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 15, 2008 @ 3:46 pm

  21. Does “Goering around in circles” count as a Flying Circus airshow?

    Comment by Sledpress — July 15, 2008 @ 4:54 pm

  22. No, but it makes me a Loerzer . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 15, 2008 @ 10:14 pm

  23. Sigh, why am I not surprised? I gather you are Richt oftener than not.

    Comment by sledpress — July 15, 2008 @ 11:00 pm

  24. Voss ist los?

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 12:17 am

  25. A fine Hess you’ve gotten us into.

    At some point here, doesn’t one of us roll over and light a cigarette?

    Comment by Sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 8:29 am

  26. Normally, this sort of thing is to the death, but I’m a reasonable sort this week. Ever since I was a kid and saw “The Blue Max,” I’ve always Peppard people with those kind of puns . . .

    I’ll grant that you could take on most of my associates and I and draw a significant quantity of blood.

    So, have I convinced you to start a blog? Stiletto would be most disappointed in me otherwise . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 1:34 pm

  27. You are very Galland.

    I’m toying with it. I’m simply not entirely sure what I’d write about regularly. I know, it comes; I wrote a newspaper column once and had that same deer-in-the-headlights feeling about delivering the goods. I confess to designing a front page, anyway. I am sure Stil will inspire me (maybe I’ll put one of my old physique photos on there?)

    (removed by request)

    By the way, did you ever do a model of the ME110, with or without the *dackelbauch* tanks? Idle curiosity, I’ll tell you the reason sometime, maybe in the blog if I start one.

    Comment by Sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 2:29 pm

  28. Wilcke-men.

    I edited two sister weeklies for two years, did front, section-front, obituary, community page and assorted other layouts, wrote, shot photos, threatened an advertising manager with worse than death, wrote a column and spent hours of quality time with our press foreman learning the finer points of black density in photos for press.

    Yeah, you can write a blog.

    As for 110’s, I never got to the D (big belly tank version) but have a G-2 day fighter and a G-4 nachtjager in my store of built, unbuilt and partially built kits.

    The reason intrigues, although for some reason I think you might have had a passing familiarity with an establishment with a spiral staircase and named “Air, Land and Sea” . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 4:09 pm

  29. Nope… just the subplot of a trunk novel. Though it’s been 20 years and I may have forgotten something myself.

    You are sounding more and more like the narrator of the novel I did write, although I suspect professional local journalism never got you beat up in a parking lot.

    Comment by Sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 5:45 pm

  30. This is simply fascinating.

    What blogging is all about!

    ‘(removed by request)’

    Not fair.

    Comment by Stiletto — July 16, 2008 @ 10:03 pm

  31. Not fair? We just provided a 25-year potted history of Luftwaffe and Imperial German fighter aces by pun. You’d have to pay $300 a credit hour and endure two semesters to get that sort of entertainment at GWU.

    As for assault on the job, there was the time a 70-year old federal felon and his halfwit son tried to accost me in a parking lot to ‘review’ some documents someone had handed me in a meeting . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:17 pm

  32. ‘Ann Coulter: Baldur von Schirach in red drag, with a really bad hangover.’

    Jugger naughty.

    Comment by Stiletto — July 16, 2008 @ 10:17 pm

  33. ‘As for assault on the job, there was the time a 70-year old federal felon and his halfwit son tried to accost me in a parking lot to ‘review’ some documents someone had handed me in a meeting . . .

    Reminds me of the lyrics to an old song.

    ‘There was funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung
    He said here comes the big boss, lets get it on
    We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand
    The sudden motion made me skip now we’re into a brand knew trip

    Everybody was kung-fu fighting
    Those cats were fast as lightning’

    Comment by Stiletto — July 16, 2008 @ 10:20 pm

  34. And Balder Snatch.

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 10:20 pm

  35. Let it never be said that I don’t open these doors to mind-boggling imagery . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:20 pm

  36. Dose two guys were more like Lenny and Squiggy, minus about 45 IQ points.

    And let’s not forget Artur Axmann the one-armed bandit.

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:22 pm

  37. Oh, and that old song was out when I was in junior high – thanks for making me feel old . . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:23 pm

  38. You’re cheating on me.

    Tomorrow I will really put your hands to work and turn them to kraut as part of your pun-ishment and you will not be able to sneak off for late night punting of words with Herr Editor.

    Comment by Stiletto — July 16, 2008 @ 10:24 pm

  39. The wurst is yet to come

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:26 pm

  40. ‘Dose two guys were more like Lenny and Squiggy, minus about 45 IQ points.’

    Would that be 45 together or separate? Because I’m thinking Lenny and Squiggy didn’t have much to work wit’

    Comment by Stiletto — July 16, 2008 @ 10:26 pm

  41. Show me the mustard.

    Comment by Stiletto — July 16, 2008 @ 10:27 pm

  42. Don’t Knock the wurst we can do, you Brat.

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 10:28 pm

  43. 45 each, which makes primordial soup smarter by a factor of one million.

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:29 pm

  44. Nothing like those Moelders oldies . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:31 pm

  45. And don’t make me cry: when I was in high school everyone was playing “Crimson and Clover” on the radio. Except for me; I was listening to WGMS (RIP).

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 10:32 pm

  46. Well, at least I’m not a spoiled brat.

    Comment by Stiletto — July 16, 2008 @ 10:33 pm

  47. Yep, and when I grew up on an RAF base, Pontius was still a pilot

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:34 pm

  48. I guess it was inevitable that some Knight our paths would Cross.

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 10:35 pm

  49. First Class Jabs there

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:36 pm

  50. Some girls like their knights in shining armor, others, armored with puns.

    Comment by Stiletto — July 16, 2008 @ 10:37 pm

  51. Like they used to say in the cotton fields, one should pick the lesser of two weevils . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:39 pm

  52. Cotton? We’ve gone from the RAF to Bolling AFB?

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 10:42 pm

  53. Ginned that one up nicely

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:46 pm

  54. It had a tonic effect, didn’t it?

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 10:48 pm

  55. Ginning up sounds good about now. I’ll leave you two to your flight of fancy.

    Comment by Stiletto — July 16, 2008 @ 10:48 pm

  56. If you cotton to that sort of thing

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:49 pm

  57. Who said we were done with you yet?

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:50 pm

  58. Repeat foul! I get a free throw!

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 10:51 pm

  59. I concur

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:53 pm

  60. I’m not done with her anyway. Stiletto knows I have the power to whap her traps. In my profession, we can always say “later for you.”

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 10:53 pm

  61. The Galland one was quite elegant, if I might say so

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:54 pm

  62. I had been dandling that in reserve for the right moment. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to Junker it.

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 10:56 pm

  63. Bucker the trend, I always say . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 10:59 pm

  64. As long as you do a neat job and don’t make a Messerschmitt.

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 11:01 pm

  65. I always make a Klemm sweep of things

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 11:02 pm

  66. I can Fieseler enthusiasm from here.

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 11:07 pm

  67. I think we laid waste to much of the language tonight. Don’t you?

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 11:07 pm

  68. Probably. I detect that I am sitting in a heap of tortured diphthongs.

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 11:08 pm

  69. I haven’t had this much pure lack of respect for humanity in quire a while.

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 11:09 pm

  70. Sometimes, you just have to get random. Can you imagine the furrowed brows of people who enter Galland or Messerscmitt into Google and fetch up here?

    By the way, you (and obviously, the Ration Reality insurgents) are the only people I’ve stumbled across in something like my whole life who had even heard of Tom Corbett. I have two old TC books that I adored as a kid. They were hard to find even then.

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 11:14 pm

  71. I did a couple of pieces of art for those wacky RR folks – the Tom Corbett Ass cadet patch magnet and th emission patch.

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 11:16 pm

  72. Perchance do you have a Messenger acc’t? Might make the conversation go a tad faster.

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 16, 2008 @ 11:17 pm

  73. Sledpress on AOL or Janebarcroft on Yahoo.

    Comment by sledpress — July 16, 2008 @ 11:19 pm

  74. ‘Messenger acc’t?’

    So that’s what they’re calling hotel rooms these days.

    Comment by Stiletto — July 18, 2008 @ 1:53 pm

  75. Not my fault you left early . . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 18, 2008 @ 1:54 pm

  76. Being a third wheel is never fun.

    A voyeur, on the other hand…

    Comment by Stiletto — July 18, 2008 @ 1:55 pm

  77. FFE timed out and I went to sleep…

    Comment by sledpress — July 18, 2008 @ 2:01 pm

  78. I think he timed out again.

    Comment by Stiletto — July 18, 2008 @ 2:03 pm

  79. Ok, done with lunch.

    Shame I didn’t have any beer on hand

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 18, 2008 @ 2:11 pm

  80. …. of course, ALL the Best & Most Sensible Germans & Norwegians (then called Liverpudlian Vikings) came to England ….

    …. and what happened to those poor Neanderthals (Comment 33) ?????

    Comment by G Eagle Esq — July 19, 2008 @ 4:14 am

  81. M. Eagle,

    One died of old age. The son tried to attain respectability, first as an elected town official and later as a supporter of spaying and neutering. Too bad he couldn’t have gone back in time and advised his father on the matter . . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — July 19, 2008 @ 7:38 am

  82. Buon Giorno, Signor FFE

    Ah – the marvels of Democracy, not that I’d be over-eager to emphasize this to the sharp-heeled Mlle Stiletto

    … but I thought that was the whole point of America …

    … and what justified all that beastliness to all manner of Folk ranging from the intellectually limited George III and his well-meaning British Soldiers (who seem to have been mostly poor Germans from Hesse who did not really have the hearts committed to the struggle, except for a solitary Welshman who somehow seems to have got lost in Yorktown) to Geronimo and some poor families at Wounded Knee

    Literally ANYONE (including Young Neanderthals) can aspire to become the President

    Alles Gute

    G Eagle

    Comment by G Eagle Esq — July 19, 2008 @ 11:57 am

  83. “Literally ANYONE (including Young Neanderthals) can aspire to become the President”

    Not anyone. You have to be a born citizen. If ANYONE could run, Arnold would have thrown his hat in the ring a long time ago.

    Whew. Dodged that bullet.

    Comment by max — July 19, 2008 @ 6:36 pm

  84. Dear Max

    Vielen Dank [thanks, muchly]

    That explains it – this is a Space when so many Mysteries of the Universe and Human Society are given elucidation

    Apparently, Senor FFE is about to go out to Africa as Zimbabwe’s Economics Minister [on Herr AerChie’s Space]

    Ergo, in the prospective absence of such a more able Candidate, I had been wondering why I had not been asked to stand for President

    I had thought it was some Institutional Specie-ism

    but it’s just because I am an UitLander

    Your obedient servant etc

    G Eagle

    Comment by G Eagle Esq — July 20, 2008 @ 2:44 am

  85. ….

    mmmm

    —- but perhaps we should not too entirely dismiss the Influence of some Specie-ist Conspiracy

    There seems to be a Mysterious Glass Ceiling, which keeps so many types out, while allowing some puzzling Candidates through

    We haven’t exactly seen a throng of Native-born Bald Eagles & Coyotes & cuddly Brown Bears being given 4-year Leases of the Oval Office by the admiring & grateful People of America

    BUT some curious Life-Forms get through into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

    eg Multiple Shrubs, Kennedy & US Grant, & even a Tree-Murderer

    Es macht man denken, nee
    Das ist es, doch

    [It makes yer fink,yeh
    This is it, i’n’it]

    Comment by G Eagle Esq — July 20, 2008 @ 3:04 am

  86. u suck

    Comment by lei — October 22, 2008 @ 7:20 pm

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