Frontier Former Editor

February 12, 2008

Recycling McCartney

Filed under: divorce, Heather McCartney, leg man, legs, Paul McCartney, Uncategorized — Frontier Former Editor @ 12:56 am

God I love it when Paul and Heather’s marital troubles rise to the tabloids’ oily surface tension, beacue it means I can wheel out this hoary old chestnut from my Blogspot days:

Top ten specifics of Heather McCartney’s divorce filing:

10) Paul mocked me by buying me a DVD remastering of “The 39 Steps”

9) Kept snickering when he said “this lager doesn’t have enough hops in it.”

8) Inflicted mental cruelty by repeated playing of “Band on the Run”

7) Said he married me because he was a leg man

6) Said on several occasions that there was something wrong but that he couldn’t peg it.

5) Pet name for me: Ahab

4) Friends made cryptic “Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo” remarks in my presence (go watch the movie – it’ll come to you.)

3) Opened lingerie drawer – half my stockings tied off

2) Told me I was a natural for base 5 arithmetic.

1) Said we were a natural for the three-legged race at the Apple Records corporate picnic


  1. Bought me a plane for my birthday.
    Bought me a razor for the other leg.

    Comment by Vicus Scurra — February 12, 2008 @ 4:23 am

  2. TOUCHE!!!!

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — February 12, 2008 @ 8:25 am

  3. Amazing. The lifestyle that Heather and the still-too-young-to-know-about-anything daughter have become accustomed to ends up being vasty millions of pounds.

    I don’t see how Heather comes out of this without seeming like a totally selfish bitch on one leg.

    I mean, who the fuck is she? Other than an opportunist who wooed Paul and got him to marry her? For all of what – two or three years? And now she can lay claim to half of the wealth he’s accumulated all his life? Surely it should be only for the money that came in while they were married. What a cunt.

    Then again, Paul was really stupid for not insisting on a pre-nup agreement.

    Comment by azahar — February 12, 2008 @ 10:22 am

  4. Well, at least she does have a leg to stand on

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — February 12, 2008 @ 2:18 pm

  5. how much weight does a pre-nup have anyway?

    Comment by nursemyra — February 13, 2008 @ 3:53 am

  6. Dear Senor FFE

    This Eagle’s Vote is for True Love

    They seemed so happy

    How can we persuade Sir Paul & Heather to put their unhappinesses behind them and recover their first love

    Has their Wealth become a Curse for themselves and their child

    Who would want to be a Divorce Lawyer making millions out of human miserablenesses

    Yr obedt servt etc

    G Eagle

    PS Nurse M

    English Law does not recognize pre-nuptial agreements (they are regarded as an undesirable Ouster of the Jurisdiction of the Courts)

    Comment by G Eagle Esq — February 13, 2008 @ 10:40 am

  7. M. Eagle,

    Obviously Paul needs to pay more attention to his previous song lyrics . . .

    Comment by Former Frontier Editor — February 13, 2008 @ 3:43 pm

  8. thanks G Eagle, that’s what I thought 🙂

    Comment by nursemyra — February 14, 2008 @ 4:01 am

  9. Well, it sounds like she is *only* going to get about 60 million pounds. Cunt.

    Comment by azahar — February 15, 2008 @ 12:04 pm

  10. cunt?!? ooh, azahar, did you get up out of the wrong side of bed this morning 🙂

    Comment by nursemyra — February 17, 2008 @ 6:48 am

  11. What’s the difference between a tribe of Pygmies and a women’s track team? One’s a group of cunning little runts . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — February 17, 2008 @ 3:58 pm

  12. [err … Senor FFE – please put on you anti-Sheila & No-Children filter on — it’s taken me 10 minutes to work it out – tres funny – it’s worthy of wider circulation]

    I hope the kindly Mrs Noggin will not be too cwoss with puir wee Heather – Mrs McCartney has her troubles in life, including [inter alia] being the current Mrs McCartney

    If indeed H is getting only £60m, it is because Sir Paul can afford more ….

    … and just think of all the (until now) financially-anxious Lawyers who will now be able to pay their celebratory-champagne bills and tax-demands out of their share of this £60m

    … perhaps Mr Brown’s Government (may it rule for ever, inshallah) will use the extra taxes to subsidize Haggis-Manufacturers, north of the Border

    If only Heather & Sir Paul had been around in the antebellum USA – if either had paid Abe Lincoln to take on their case, he would have been too rich to want to be President, Mr Seward might have won the 1860 Presidential election …

    …. AND we might not have had the American Civil War, where those demn Yankees forced the Confederate States to enjoy the Freedom of staying in the US Union

    Comment by G Eagle Esq — February 17, 2008 @ 4:37 pm

  13. *Can’t kick with just one leg.
    Their entire divorce proceeding is simply laughable.
    He should have whacked the other leg off already.
    Supposedly, there was a site on the net taking bets as to whether Mill’s leg would fall off during her less than memorable stint on “Dancing with the Stars”
    God, I would have loved to see that one on YouTube

    Comment by ~m — March 2, 2008 @ 5:29 pm

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