Frontier Former Editor

October 17, 2007

The Reese’s Cup is dying!

Filed under: candy, death of an American icon, dumbasses, ersatz food, food, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup — Frontier Former Editor @ 2:07 pm

Okay folks, it’s almost as bad as buying a Ford the last decade or so. Or almost as bad as Harley Davidsons had sunk in quality until about 10 or 15 years ago. Or so bad that Gibbon should have written another volume of “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” specifically to address this.

dead-reese-cup.jpg

The Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup is going to hell in a handbasket.

I made this profound observation while attempting to eat one at work today. It’s bad enough that the makers have trimmed the diameter by at least a quarter inch in the last year.

In the good old days, and even as recently as a year or so ago, a Reese’s cup could cover almost all of the top of a soda can. An Eisenhower silver dollar could damn near hide the current production version of the Reese’s cup.

[Note: If you’re from the South or at least corrupted by long-term exposure south of Falls Church, Va., it’s pronounced ree-see kup.]

And my attempt to eat one today . . . let’s just say that shucking and slurping a raw oyster would have been easier and neater.

Used to be that you could open the wrapper of a Reese’s cup with one finger, and that the cup would separate cleanly from the wax paper cup cradling it. You could nibble away at the candy at your leisure (ambient air temperature allowing, of course.).

The goddam excuse of a Reese’s cup I ate today had semi-bonded to the wax paper. That came after trying to separate the fused flaps of the now all-plastic wrapper.

The technique for eating a new, improved Reese’s cup involves debonding a portion of the cup’s perimeter and then scraping the contents away with your front teeth before trying to taste and swallow the now-crushed candy.

No leisurely enjoyment. The process now makes you feel like an anteater with a mouthful of dirt and panicky ants.

It’s a goddamn shame when your country’s leaders can’t even handle basic colonialism and your candy industry can’t even handle a simple goddamn peanut butter cup.

Advertisements

17 Comments »

  1. I feel your pain.

    Blame Canada.

    Ours have never been the top of a pop can size, and they’ve always (at least for the past twenty years) stuck to the paper thingy in a small circle in the middle. But they’re still better than just about anything but an Eat More or a Crunchie or a Coffee Crisp, so I buy them anyway.

    Comment by raincoaster — October 18, 2007 @ 4:10 am

  2. I love Reece’s peanut butter cups! they used to be hard to get in australia but they’re easier to find now that I’m trying to avoid them because they’re so addictive

    Comment by nursemyra — October 18, 2007 @ 5:28 am

  3. Rain – Paul Anka probably bought the company, the little ratf*cker.

    Nurse – Wanna score . . . some Reese’s?

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — October 18, 2007 @ 6:27 am

  4. Yep! what do I have to do….?

    Comment by nursemyra — October 19, 2007 @ 4:53 am

  5. COME ON

    Comment by DEBRA ANN SMITH PLAINFIELD IL — October 19, 2007 @ 6:49 am

  6. Do people pronounce it any other way?

    Comment by Miss Cellania — October 19, 2007 @ 12:11 pm

  7. Just them yankees . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — October 19, 2007 @ 9:48 pm

  8. That’s what sucks about being old. Remembering things when they were better. Or so I’ve been told…

    Comment by The Bagel of Everything — October 20, 2007 @ 12:21 am

  9. Your day will come, grasshopper . . . .

    Comment by Frontier Former Editor — October 20, 2007 @ 12:29 am

  10. I saw a Reese’s pumpkin peanut butter cup yesterday and thought of you. Must be a Halloween thing.

    Comment by azahar — October 21, 2007 @ 4:40 am

  11. The American candy industry is, as I see it, where the American auto industry was 20 years ago. Protected by tariffs and insulated from outside competition, it let its quality standards slip dramatically. Hopefully, Adam Smith’s invisible hand will smack them back into their senses when people realize the quality of confections available from other countries.

    If you live near a World Bazaar or specialty sweet store, chances are you can get a really exceptional chocolate treat like the U. K.’s Aero Bar, Ireland’s Moro or Australia’s Crunchie bar there. also, deep-discount grocer Aldi sells its own European-made premium chocolates at the price of an American-made bar.

    Comment by SOylent Ape — October 21, 2007 @ 12:53 pm

  12. I haven’t eaten a Reese’s Cup in years.

    Comment by SOylent Ape — October 25, 2007 @ 11:18 pm

  13. I don’t think I’ve ever had one.

    Comment by azahar — October 26, 2007 @ 9:06 am

  14. Azahar: Never had a Reece’s Cup? Seriously? I know you’re not in America, but still…you’re on Earth, aren’t you?

    Comment by The Bagel of Everything — October 26, 2007 @ 2:21 pm

  15. Well, Sevilla is more like heaven on earth, but I don’t recall ever having one. Perhaps as a small child in Canada.

    But eating chocolate was a bit like attending the Roman Catholic church for me. As soon as I was old enough to make my own life decisions I stopped doing both those things. Though I have had the occasional champagne truffle or dark chocolate covered hobnob since then, and have also attended weddings and the odd Christmas eve midnight mass, they are not things I would do of my own volition.

    Comment by azahar — October 27, 2007 @ 6:06 am

  16. Aero bars and Crunchies are considered exotic? They’re bog-standard around these parts.

    az: PUMPKIN peanut butter cups? I think I must haunt candy stores for those. I’m wild about pumpkin; just spent $2.60 I cannot afford on one pumpkin spice truffle at Godiva.

    Comment by raincoaster — October 27, 2007 @ 6:20 am


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: