Frontier Former Editor

July 27, 2006

Another day, another 60 cents on the dollar

Filed under: Uncategorized — Frontier Former Editor @ 3:10 pm

Yes, I’m back from another engagement at the Sands. Wait, that was a psychotic episode from seeing Wayne Newton striking the opening gong for today’s NYSE opening.

Anyway, it’s been another fun-filled 72 hours as we phase in more of our fellow newspapers onto a new press. As I spent Thursday recuperating before another fine Friday at work, I was standing in line at the store when the big O caught my attention.

No, I didn’t spontaneously orgasm in the checkout line. It was a copy of Oprah magazine, with Oprah dressed like Rosalind Cash in “The Omega Man” just before she had dinner and sex with Charlton Heston (where are these images coming from? Must have been the Wayne Newton thing on HNN.

And in the featured article box on the page: “Oprah and Gayle: They have a conversation and say some startling things.” Or something like that.

But after my Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, the Story of O seemed positively grounded in reality after having to deal with a press crew which called to ask where your paper’s plate negatives were more than an hour after you sent them and watched their disposition on line before going out to dinner satisfied that they were printing.

I want to go to that printing plant and hang a giant sign with one of my favorite lines from “Time Bandits:”

YOU ARE MERCIFULLY FREE OF THE RAVAGES OF INTELLIGENCE.”

And in other news:

I’m so glad that the Israelis are near getting one of their missing soldiers back after trashing the better part of a sovereign country while pulling off the same sort of crap they did when they spend half a day trying to sink the USS Liberty in international waters in 1967.

I have no problem protecting Jews from the sort of nationalist and anti-Semitic sentiment that put Dreyfus in prison and made possible the Holocaust.

I have a real problem with the Israeli state hiding behind that protection while acting in the same manner that National Socialist Germany acted while subverting Czechoslovakia in 1938 and spending 1939 – 1945 trying to obliterate Poland and wiping out significant chunks of the Jewish population of Europe.

And lets give another hand to the American oil industry for their justification of $10 billion in recent profits: Our profit margin is not as big as that of other industries.

Who needs a big per-unit profit margin when you
in volume and hold a near monopoly on the market?

Sorry for losing thematic control of this post. I can only offer Madeline Kahn’s excuse from “Blazing Saddles”: Ah’m tired.

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