Frontier Former Editor

April 29, 2006

The world turned upside down . . . or at least knocked on its side

Filed under: doomed to repeat, humor, old times, schools, societal niceties — Frontier Former Editor @ 10:48 pm

To set the scene for this post, the following photos are of Powell Valley High School’s prom on April 29, 2006. The school, located just outside Big Stone Gap, Va., rented the former Hotel Norton in Norton, Va. for the prom.

Having taken the photos, and having some experience scanning crowds from covering a prison riot and various other scens of civil unrest or tension, I was able to discern a couple of things:

– For every person in formal wear – male or female – there are roughly three to four parents, friends or family members in, let’s say, sit-around-the-house casual.

– This was the prom: not the pre-prom mingling or the post-prom party – the prom.

Proms in this neck of the woods have evolved, or devolved, into sessions in which the proud promgoers literally promenade before a line of parents bearing cameras and making commentary on each couple’s fashion choices.

It doesn’t seem to jibe with what proms were when I was in high school. Feel free to express your own recollections or opinions.

Reasons not to take up golfing at age 43

Filed under: dumbasses, lost weekend, sports, whiteploitation — Frontier Former Editor @ 7:12 pm

1) You’re 43 – you’re gonna buy a LOT of Tylenol afterward
2) Your 14 year-old son – who’s been playing at least one year on the high school golf team – is gonna wax you, bad.
3) Course rules don’t allow you a free shot at the cart-driving golfer who decides to pull out on the fairway as you’re on your second shot so he/she can shoot his/her ball back onto the fairway two holes back.
4) That palm-frond pattern Hawaiian shirt looked cool two years ago . . .
5) Remember, renting a hand cart for your golf bag was only $1, you blithering idiot!
6) Oops, I almost hit the course’s mole-hunting dog . . .
7) Did I mention Tylenol?
8) What happened? I was shooting 180-200 yards at the driving range . . .
9) How did my son skip a ball across a 120-foot water hazard onto dry land?
10) Oh yeah . . . Tylenol!

Government officials and lazy prosecutors beware!

Filed under: journalism, politics, tech, Third Reich — Frontier Former Editor @ 9:36 am

This is great stuff, and I speak from experience. In the last seven years, I’ve been subpoenaed or threatened with subpoenas three times to testify on stuff that I wrote and that was in print. I don’t get paid enough to do my job and that of a bunch of lazy prosecutors while violating my profesional ethics.

Not to mention the time I got federal grand jury duty once and warned the federal magistrate that I may run into conflict of interest because some cases I may have covered. I spent three out of four sessions sitting in the hallway because of, guess what?

Advice for paranoid reporters(April 25, 2006) from

A Manhattan Project To Create a Neuralizer: “Nothing can expunge knowledge from a journalist’s mind,” says attorney Bruce Brown of Baker & Hostetler. After all the documents and notes are destroyed and all the phone calls and e-mails are adequately masked, a subpoenaed reporter’s brain will still contain the information the prosecutor wants. If the American Society of Newspaper Editors would only fund the development of a “neuralizer,” such as was used in the movie Men in Black, reporters could reliably shed every memory about sources after the story goes to press.

Let’s get Bob Woodward to volunteer to go first.


Ooohh, I like this . . .

Filed under: cool stuff, humor, mad science, tech, weapons — Frontier Former Editor @ 9:00 am

Just the ticket to deal with those free AOL discs you get in the mail and those malware-loaded Sony music discs

Hammerhead – Lego CD thrower

Now I gotta start buying Legos . . .

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