Frontier Former Editor

April 11, 2006

It’s just a shelter that my dad built . . . in case the Reds decide to push the button down . . .

My most sincere apologies to Donald Fagen but, still, what a great song.

Anyway, fresh from the Frontier Editor archives deep under Cheyenne Mountain, Wyoming, here’s some excerpts from that seminal 1961 literary work, “Fallout Protection: What to Know and Do About Nuclear Attack.” (Dick Cheney and I have an understanding: I keep my collection there and he doesn’t let loose with the birdshot and start injuring all the Air Force security police.)

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure and in preparation for our peaceful Islamic Iranian Republic friends . . .

Not telling where I got my copy, but it was in good condition and free.

Beats duct tape and plastic sheeting, but I’m still waiting for those other versions under development . . .

And now for the Popular Mechanics gallery in our collection . . .

The question I still have, though, is just how much pineboard, Quikrete and sand it takes to protect from direct radiation when the device detonates in an airburst about 5,000 feet overhead . . .

And then I wonder just how long the neighbors are going to respect the sanctity of your sandbagged castle . . .

Been a long time since I’ve seen asbestos-covered anything for sale, unless those white fudge-dipped Oreos are something they shouldn’t be . . .

And also be sure to remember to make sure that the big brick building forming part of your lean-to is down-blast from you . . .

Bears a certain resemblance to a basement in a certain movie about a big burrowing worm . . .

We’ve got provisions and lots of beer . . .

The key word is survival in the New Frontieeeeerrrrr . . . .

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