As Sly Stone would say in a situation like this, “I want to thank you/for letting me/be myself’/again!”
Congratulations, you’re rabies!
Transmitted by rabid animals, you’re most commonly found infecting creatures such as raccoons, skunks, bats and foxes. But don’t worry, you affect humans too, causing either paralysis or hyperactivity in your advanced stages, and ultimately death.
Your most famous symptom is hypersalviation – that delightful foaming at the mouth that we have come to know and indeed love. However, you can also cause hallucination; think of the fun you could have at parties!
If you wish, you can proudly tell the world that you kill dogs . . .
Having grown up as a military dependent and now working in a profession where I see how the economy is wreaking havoc on soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines and Coast Guarsdmen, I’ve always been a firm believer in giving military personnel and their families needed aid and comfort. Consistently, they face one of the crappiest professional and home enviroments found in American society, and we ask them to do it at a mere pittance while bankers, entertainers and sports figures drain wealth far in excess of their usefulness to society.
I’ve seen how that aid and comfort has been provided over the years, from service relief organizations to the firm yet fatherly guidance of a senior NCO for a wayward soldier or sailor. But this bit of news is something that our new National Command Authority might want to consider tending to in short order:
Granted, you can’t run a military like it was a democracy. But a democracy certainly can impose some core values conducive to discipline, good order and humaneness toward the troops.
